Tree with lance-shaped, waxy, dark leaves which make attractive foliage. Its flowers are either single or paired, and are bowl-shaped of a pink or white colour.

Amaryllis

Large, open, sweetly scented flowers that grow in white and pink.

Angelica

Diamond-shaped leaves, with large clusters of small flowers, usually found in white, greenish-yellow or reddish-purple.

Apple Blossom

Fragrant flowers, either singular or clustered, of a shallow cup-shape with five petals.

Arum Lily (Zantedeschia)

Unusual, white or brightly coloured trumpet-shaped flowered heads on long stems. 'Mamoratum' is often used in flower arrangements.

Aster

Small, daisy-like flowers that are either single or clustered. Colours include white, red, yellow, blue, lilac and purple.

Baby's Breath (Gypsophilia)

Tiny, star-shaped to shallowly trumpet-shaped flowers with five petals. Occur in white or pink.

Basil (Ocimum Basilicum)

Petite, white flowers with an aromatic scent. Also in pink and purple.

Bay (Magnolia Grandiflora)

Erect, large, saucer-shaped flowers with nine to 12 petals, usually a creamy-white colour.

Bird of Paradise (Strelitsia)

Crest-like flowers often in contrasting colours. Last well when cut.

Bluebell

Flowers of a bell or tubular-bell-shape, in blue, white or pink. Can be irritating to skin when touched.

Bougainvillea

Delicate flowers of white, lilac, red or pink. Two great wedding varieties are 'Bridal Bouquet' and 'Snow White'.

Bouvardia

Long tubes with four petals at the end. Produced either singular or clustered. Colours include pink, orange, red and white, the white variety being scented.

Brodiaea

Funnel-shaped flowers in clusters.

Broom (Ruscus)

Often fragrant flowers, star-shaped, in green or greenish-white.

Buttercup/Crowfoot (Ranunculus)

Bowl-shaped or cup to saucer-shaped flower heads, usually with five petals. White, yellow, pink, orange and red. The sap may irritate skin.

Camellia

Bold foliage, with single, paired or clustered open-faced flowers. They are sometimes fragrant, and white, pink, red or yellow.

Carnation (Dianthus)

Grow either singular or clustered. Pinks are smaller and with fewer petals. Often fragrant, and come in most colours, or with variegated leaves.

Catkins

Hanging clusters of tiny flowers in long pendants.

Cedar

Needle-like foliage displayed in clusters. Produces cones during Autumn, which are perfect for arrangements.

Celandine (Chelidonium)

Bowl-shaped yellow flowers that are similar to poppies, with a sap that may irritate skin.

Cherry Blossom (Prunus)

Saucer, bowl or cup-shaped flowers with five petals. Usually white, but pink and red also available.

Chervil (Anthriscus)

Two to three leaflets, light to mid-green leaves with clusters of tiny white flowers.

Chinese Lantern (Physalis Alkekengi)

Triangular-ovate to diamond-shaped leaves, bell-shaped cream flowers with star-shaped mouths.

Chrysanthemum

Flowers can be single, daisy-like blooms, a head of multiple petals or small or large pom-pom heads. Colours include white, yellow, red, pink and purple.

Clematis

Single or clustered flower heads, with four to ten petals, varying in shape and size. A variety of colours including white, yellow, orange, pink, red, lilac and purple.

Clover (Trifolium)

Small, pea-like flowers with delicate leaves.

Cornflower (Centaurea Cyanus)

Spherical or hemispherical flower heads with tubular petals, the outer ones being longer. Cheap so ideal for couples with a limited budget.

Cotoneaster

Saucer to shallow cup-shaped flowers of a white to deep pink colouring. The leaves make good foliage.

Cow Parsley/Queen Anne's Lace (Anthriscus Sylvestris)

Clusters of tiny, white flowers accompanied by delicate, lace-like leaves.

Daffodil (Narcissi)

Some varieties have red, orange and pink rims around the inner trumpet. They grow in a variety of shades of either yellow or white, or a mix of both. Available in single or double blooms, along with a petite variety.

Dahlia

Many shapes available, including pom-pom, ball, cactus, orchid, peony and water lily shaped. Grown in many colour variations, including white, yellow, orange, red, pink, purple, cream and burgundy.

Daisy (Bellis)

Simple, solitary flower heads on long stalks with oval leaves, in white, pink or red.

Delphinium

Several varieties of shapes - spikes, racemes, panicles, hooded, spurred, single or double. Each plant produces many blooms, either on single or multiple stems.

Dill (Anethum)

Clusters of small and delicate yellow flowers with feathery blue-green foliage.

Dogwood (Cornus)

Small, star-shaped flowers displayed in clusters. Lance-shaped ovate to broadly ovate mid to dark green or red leaves. Grows in a variety of colours - white, pink, yellow, peach and cream. The leaves may irritate skin.

Eucalyptus

Often has an aromatic foliage. Clusters of petal-less flowers of a white or creamy yellow.

Euphorbia

A shrub comprising of flower heads, which can be solitary, round or pyramidal, at terminals or in clusters. Each flower head is cupped by a bract that can be yellow, red, purple, brown or green.

Fern

An inexpensive, delicate green foliage.

Feverfew (Tanacetum Parthenium)

Daisy or button-like flower heads, either singular or clustered. Usually white, pink, yellow or red. Flamingo/Tail Flower (Anthurium)

Large, glossy leaves with brightly coloured flower heads of an interesting pendent or contorted shape. Ideal for beach and tropical weddings.

Forget-Me-Not (Myosotis)

Delicate flowers that are occasionally funnel-shaped, and are pink, blue, yellow or white.

Forsythia

A shrub that produces yellow flowers with four petals and narrow tubes, in long and short styles.

Foxglove (Digitalis)

Many inflated, tubular-bell shaped flowers on long stems.

Frangipani (Plumeria)

Ideal for tropical weddings, these flowers have five petal lobes and are arranged in clusters. Available in cream and yellow.

Freesia

Small, scented, funnel-shaped and brightly-coloured.

Fuchsia

Pendulous flowers in clusters with short or long tubes and petals around the central tube, forming a cup or bell. White, pinks, reds or purples.

Gardenia

Fragrant tubular or funnel-shaped flowers with five to twelve petals, which are white.

Gentiana

Large, trumpet-shaped flowers, in shades of intense blue, white or yellow.

Geranium

Saucer-shaped, flat or star-shaped flowers, with blue, pink, purple or white petals that are often veined.

Gerbera

Long-lasting single or double Daisy-like flower heads, in red, pink, orange, yellow and purple, with black, yellow or white centres.

Gilliflower/Stock (Matthiola)

Cross-shaped or spike-like flowers in shades of pink, purple or white.

Gladioli

Each long stalk contains rows of flower heads, each flower made up of six petals. Available in white, peach, pink, purple, red, blue and cream. Stalks can grow up to three feet high.

Globe Thistle (Echinop)

Single, spherical flower heads of white, grey or blue.

Gorse (Ulex)

Pea-like flowers that are either singular or clustered, and are yellow.

Grape Hyacinth (Muscari)

Many clusters of petite tubular, bell or spherical flowers on each stem. Blue, purple, yellow, cream, white, green or maroon.

Hawthorn (Crataegus)

Usually shallowly cup-shaped and either flat or in rounded clusters, and available in white or deep pink. It produces fruits in Autumn, which are used in flower arrangements.

Hazel (Corylus)

Excellent foliage with yellow catkins.

Heather (Calluna)

Dense clusters of tiny bell-shaped flowers along the stem, in red, purple, pink and white. Good for winter arrangements.

Heliotrope

Petite and sweetly scented tubular flowers, usually yellow. Some varieties are almost daisy-like in appearance.

Hellebore

Pendant or outward facing saucer, cup-shaped or tubular bell-shaped flowers. Each flower head has five petals. White, cream, pink, purple or green. Can also be spotted.

Hibiscus

Mainly funnel-shaped, singular or clustered flowers, in red, pink, purple, blue, yellow or white.

Holly (Ilex)

Beautiful leaf colourings in green, yellow, red and brown. Also produces berries, which are a lovely seasonal choice for Winter and Christmas weddings.

Hollyhock (Alcea)

Tall, slender, large flowers that are either stalk less, short stalked or funnel-shaped. Each flower five petals, and is brightly coloured.

Honesty (Lunaria)

Tall, open terminals of many cross-shaped flowers with four petals. Usually grows in a violet-blue to white.

Honeysuckle (Lonicera)

Tubular, funnel or bell-shaped flowers arranged in clusters, some varieties.

Hyacinth

Long, packed flower heads with as many as forty single or double flowers that are tubular-bell shape. Many colours including purple, pink, cream, orange, yellow, red, blue or white. Fragrant.

Hydrangea

Flower heads are flat, domed or conical, and are arranged in clusters. White, pink, blue, purple, lilac and greenish-white.

Hypericum

Yellow flowers with long stamens. Fruits are also produced which are either three to five half capsules or berries.

Iris

Fan-shaped flowers of three large outer petals, and three smaller erect inner petals. Tall and small varieties available in red, pink, orange, yellow, white, lilac and blue.

Ivy (Hedera)

Three leaf shapes available - oval-heart shape, three lobed and crested. Grows with many leaf colourings including yellow and green, and makes excellent foliage. Berries make ideal seasonal foliage for Winter and Christmas weddings.

Japonica

Cup-shaped, single or double blooms that are produced either singly or in clusters. They bear apple-like fruits which are edible, scented and yellow to green or purplish-green.

Jasmine

Delicate flowers often fragrant with broad or narrow star-shaped segments. Most varieties produce black berries, which add to already attractive foliage.

Larkspur (Consolida)

Slender stemmed flowers that resemble <>delphiniums. Long-lasting and can also be dried. Pink, blue or white.

Laurustinus

A shrub that produces narrowly oval to oblong, dark green leaves. Small white and pink flowers in flattened clusters and egg-shaped dark blue-black fruits.

Lavender

Long-stalked spikes of fragrant purple flowers. The leaves and flowers can be dried and used for pot pourri.

Lemon Blossom

Delicate, fragrant white flowers produced singularly or in clusters.

Lilac (Syringa)

Small, tubular flowers that are usually fragrant. White, pink, an almost red, magenta, lilac and blue.

Lily

Either singular or clustered and often scented. The flowers may be upward facing, horizontal or outward facing. They can be cup, bell or bowl-shaped, and occasionally star-shaped with six petals. Grown in a plain colours (white, yellow, orange, red, lilac, pink, cream), lined or spotted. It is important to remove the stamens to prevent staining.

Lily of the Valley (Convallaria)

Delicate pendant, bell-shaped flowers that are fragrant and usually white although pink is also available. The flowers have a waxy appearance.

Lisianthus (Eustoma)

Deeply cup or bell-shaped flowers of every colour, that are either singular or clustered. They last well once cut.

Love Lies Bleeding (Amaranthus)

Upright or hanging catkin-like blooms, full of many densely packed tiny flowers, usually red or green. Some varieties are suitable to be cut or dried.

Lupin

Long, terminal clusters or spikes of pea-like flowers. Can be plain or bicoloured.

Magnolia

Solitary pendant, horizontal, cup, goblet or star-shaped. Fragrant with six to nine petals. Pure white, white flushed, stained pink, purple, cream, greenish-yellow or yellow. Produce cone-like fruits that can be used as decoration in arrangements at Autumnal weddings.

Mallow (Hibiscus mascheutos)

Widely funnel-shaped flowers with spreading petals. Available in a variety of colours.

Marigold (Calendula)

Daisy-like flower heads which last well when cut. Colours include orange or yellow.

Marjoram

Simple and aromatic leaves, tubular or funnel-shape. Brightly coloured and last for several weeks once cut.

Michaelmas Daisy (Aster Novi Belgii)

Simple, solitary flower heads in loose, branching clusters and with many petals. A variety of colours including pink, white, purple, lilac and blue.

Mimosa

Petite yellow, pea-like flowers each with four to five petals. Lightly clustered in spherical heads either singular, spiked or grouped. Produce fruits during a hot summer, which can be used in arrangements, along with its delicate foliage.

Mint (Mentha)

Branching stems of light to dark green, purple, blue or greyish-green leaves. The flowers are bell-shaped with four petals, and dry well.

Mistletoe

Produces small white berries, with small oval green leaves. Ideal foliage for Christmas weddings.

Montbretia (Crocosmia)

Funnel-shaped, brightly coloured flowers at terminals along each long stem. The flowers are excellent for cuttings.

Morning Glory (Impomoea)

Funnel-shaped, tubular flowers that are plain or striped, in red, blue, purple, scarlet and pink.

Mugwart/Sagebrush/Wormwood (Artemisia)

Variously shaped leaves that are aromatic and in shades of green, silver and grey. The flowers are cylindrical and are either singular or clustered.

Myrtle

Solitary bowl-shaped white flowers that are aromatic. Also produces fruits suitable for Autumnal weddings.

Nerine

Multiple long-lasting, trumpet-shaped blooms that are lily-like in appearance. Colours include white, pink, salmon, orange-red, and red.

Orange Blossom (Choisya)

Aromatic leaves and fragrant star-shaped white flowers, suitable for cuttings. A very traditional bridal flower.

Orchid

An unusual, unique flower structure that can be expensive. Grows in many varieties including pink, orange, red, yellow, white and maroon.

Pansy (Viola/Violet)

A five petalled flower, either plain or with a patterned 'face'. Can be unscented or slightly scented. Colours include yellow, lilac, purple, pink, blue, red, orange, black, brown and white.

Parsley (Petroselinum)

Tiny star-shaped, white or greenish-yellow flowers with clusters of small triangular leaves.

Passion Flower (Passiflora)

Each flower has a wide tubular base and five to ten petals. It is an exotic flower, with saucer or bowl-shape, and predominantly purple.

Peach Blossom

Solitary, bowl-shaped pale pink flowers. Also produces fruit that can be used in arrangements.

Peony (Paeonia)

Large, erect flower heads, with either single or double petals in a saucer, cup, bowl or spherical-shaped. Each flower has five to 10 petals that are fragrant. Colours include yellow, white, cream, pink, orange and red.

Peruvian Lily (Alstroemeria)

Funnel-shaped flowers with six petals. Orange, pink, cream, red and yellow. Dwarf varieties also available.

Pincushion/Scabious (Scabiosa)

Either compound or singular flower heads, with a raised centre. Blue, white, yellow and pink.

Pittosporum

Glossy, leathery leaves with five-petalled flowers that are either singular or clustered.

Poinsettia (Euphorbia Pulcherrima)

An upright shrub with large, mid to deep green leaves. 'Pulcherrima Menorca' bears large, bright red flowers.

Polyanthus

Large, mostly yellow-centred flowers in clusters of three to 15 flower heads. Many colours, including red, blue, orange, yellow, white and pink

Poppy (Papava)

Short-lived flowers with either bowl, cup or saucer-shape. Four petals in either red, peach, yellow, orange and white. They have a tendency to wilt, but florists will be able to offer advice.

Primrose

Tubular, bell or funnel-shaped flowers, either clustered, on a single stem or in a ring around the stem. They are often fragrant and are yellow.

Rhododendron (Azalea)

Sweetly scented flowers that are produced singly or clustered. Grow in a variety of sizes and shapes, but are usually five-lobed and have flares or spots inside.

Rose

Often fragrant flowers, either solitary or grouped. They vary greatly in size, form and colour. Shapes include flat, cupped, rounded, urn, rosette and pom-pom.

Rosemary (Rosemarinus)

An ideal foliage, that is scented as well as attractive. The flowers are a tubular shape and a purple-blue shade.

Rue (Ruta)

Aromatic foliage and flowers. The flowers are yellow with four to five petals. Foliage can cause irritation to skin.

Sage (Salvia)

Tubular, bell or funnel-shaped flowers that are usually aromatic. The long stems produce many terminals of flowers.

Sea Lavender/Statice (Limonium)

Spikes of small, papery flowers. Grown in a variety of colours, including white, yellow, orange, pink and purple. They are good for cutting and drying.

Snapdragon (Antirrhinum)

Tubular lipped flowers, in clusters. Colours include white, yellow, orange, red and pink.

Snowdrop (Galanthus)

Delicate, pear-shaped white flowers that are sometimes scented.

Spear Grass (Aciphylla colensoi)

Long, thin strips of green foliage. Also produces small, yellowish-green flowers.

Speedwell (Veronica)

Long stems with outward facing flowers in purple, blue, pink and white.

Spindle Tree (Euonymous)

Small flowers found in green, white, purple-red or brown. Produces clusters of around 15 flowers.

Stephanotis

A traditional white bridal flower with a pleasing scent. The waxy flowers are tubular-shaped.

Sunflower (Helianthus)

Large, bold, yellow/orange daisy-like flower heads with differing petal shapes and sizes. Can look striking in groups of five or six.

Sweet Pea (Lathyrus odoratus)

Delicate, fragrant flowers in varying colours, including white, pink, red, blue, lilac and purple.

Sweet William (Dianthus Barbatus)

Terminal clusters of many small, single, scented flowers in purple-red, pink, salmon-pink and pink.

Thyme

Heads or clusters of small, tubular-shaped flowers. Colours include pink, purple and white.

Tulip

Upright flowers with six petals, either singular or clustered. They vary in size and shape - single or double, cup, bowl, goblet, fringed and star shaped. Various colours available, including red, pink, cream, white, apricot, purple, yellow, orange and maroon.

Viburnum

Tubular to trumpet-shaped flowers that are often fragrant. Produced in terminals or clusters, often domed or spherical, and can be cream, flushed pink or wholly pink. Also produces ornamental fruits of red, blue and black.

Wallflower (Cheiranthus)

Delicate flowers with four petals that can be purple, red, orange and yellow.

Water Lily (Nymphaea)

Large, bowl-shaped flowers that have many narrow petals and are grown in various colours - white, yellow, pink, red and blue.

Wattle (Acacia)

Tiny yellow flowers with four to five petals, often sweet scented. The foliage is also used.

Wax Flower (Eriostemon)

Delicate star-shaped flowers with five petals. The flowers have an aromatic scent, and are available in white, pink, red, blue and mauve.

Whitethorn (Ceanothus)

Small and densely clustered flowers in blue, white or pink.

Windflower (Anemone)

Open saucer-shaped to shallow cup-shaped flowers, either singular or clustered. Sizes range from petite to large. The sap may irritate skin. A white variety is available, called 'The Bride' (Anemone Coronaria).

Wisteria

Pea-like flowers that are fragrant and have dark leaves.

Don't Panic!

Introduction

How many times do you hear newly-weds say that they remember little about their wedding day? Months are spent planning every last detail but the day itself seems to pass by in a total whirl. So what can you do to ensure that the entire day becomes a pleasurable lifelong memory and not just a blur?

Apart from the natural nervous tension that you feel on the morning of your wedding, you will probably have the added pressure of frantic bridesmaids fighting over the bathroom, a Dad pacing up and down trying to remember his speech and a Mum running round like a headless chicken just trying to keep some sort of order. Then there is the worry of the flowers arriving on time, oh, and the cars. And where is Granddad? He was in the garden last time he was seen. I hope no one drops the cake! Has anyone seen my stockings? - Stop!!!

You should be enjoying this day, not drowning in a sea of chaos, so plan ahead to be sure of a day that is as calm and stress-free as possible. In the months running up to your big day the key words are planning and delegation. If the run-up is as stress free as you can make it then the day should be too. So relax, enjoy and above all, cherish it.

Remember to check out Confetti's The wedding book of calm book. A practical suggestion on each page to help you deal with the stress that builds in the run-up to a wedding. Just remember though - You don't have to do everything at once!

Wedding Eve

Make a timetable for your preparations on the day and follow it.

Ensure that you get to bed at a reasonable time the night before and avoid too much alcohol. The last thing you want in the morning is a hangover, although one for medicinal purposes is fine of course.

On the Morning

Start your day as calmly and slowly as possible, allowing yourself time to absorb as much as possible of the events as they unfold.

Have plenty of time to soak in the bath undisturbed, with a cup of tea.

Be sure to eat breakfast, even if it just a couple of slices of toast. No matter how much your stomach is nervously somersaulting, it would be far worse if you were to faint from hunger later on.

Take a few moments before the furore begins to relax and just contemplate the day ahead.

If there is a particular person who will be around while you are preparing that you find difficult or stressful, try to keep your distance. Give them responsibility for lots of minor jobs. This will let them think that they are important, but will also keep them out of your hair.

At the Ceremony

Your big moment has arrived and the rehearsals are over. You are the star of the show so put on your best performance.

Even the most serene bride will be feeling at least a few nerves as the time approaches to join her groom, so as you enter the wedding venue, take a deep breath. Take your time to make your entrance. Not only will it allow you to compose yourself, it will give your guests a chance to admire you.

Be sure to look around you and return the smiles of your guests.

It may sound obvious, but keep breathing. Nerves can quickly develop into panic and when you come to make your vows, nothing happens. You will no doubt have seen images of brides (and grooms) passing out at this moment and been dreading it happening to you. Don't despair! This doesn't happen very often, but is often caused by rising panic and the lack of oxygen.

Keep in the back of your mind that everyone there is wishing you the very best, so feel supported by your guests, not burdened.

If emotions get the better of you, don't be embarrassed about shedding a tear or two. Just be sure to use waterproof mascara.

At the Reception

Most receptions begin with the receiving line. Take this opportunity to say at least a few words to everyone. This will also help you relax as you are wished well by happy, smiling people.

A tip to help you remember as much as possible of your day is to have someone with an alarm on their watch, set it to go off once every hour. Ask them to remind you each time it goes off to take a few moments to look around the room to see what everyone is doing.

Don't forget that there are two of you in the spotlight today, so share what you see and hear with each other. This will all add to helping you remember more of your day when you look back.

The most important thing you can do to help you relax, enjoy and remember your day is to laugh. Funny incidents and quips are always memorable, and even near disasters can be humorous and are always best remembered for the laughter, not the tears.

Don't drink too much. Everyone knows that alcohol dulls the mind, so if you want to form a lasting memory of your wedding day, at least pace yourself with your drinks. Usually, toasts are a wonderful excuse for drinking champagne, but sip rather than gulp. You will have at least three of these and you will probably already have enjoyed some wine with your meal. Have enough to help you relax, but leave some space for what you might find in the bridal suite. Sharing a bottle of chilled champagne when you are finally alone is a wonderful way you and your new husband can enjoy and spend time looking back over your day before getting on to the pleasures of married life.

Introduction

While your groom has to depend on his best man and ushers to help him on the big day, you have the luxury of being able to choose a variety of attendants, from Chief Bridesmaid, bridesmaids, page boys to a little flower girl and ring bearer, each fulfilling a different role within the ceremony and afterwards.

Remember that although all of them are possibilities, they are not necessities and what you choose to have is entirely an individual decision. Bridesmaids and ushers originate from the Roman law that demanded ten witnesses be present at a wedding in order to dupe evil spirits who were believed to attend marriages with the view to causing mischief and disharmony.The bridesmaids and ushers all dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom so that the evil spirits wouldn't know who was getting married. Read on to find out what their duties are in modern times, what they should wear and where appropriate, what they should say.

Your Responsibility

Whether or not your attendants should contribute to the cost of their outfits is a tricky dilemma and it's important that this is discussed and everyone is aware of their financial responsibilities as soon as possible. It's far better to agree a compromise during the early stages than to risk a misunderstanding and possibly a serious upset because this hadn't been discussed at the very beginning

Finally, this is an exciting day for everyone involved so although your attendants have a very important role to perform in helping your day run smoothly, they shouldn't be overlooked when it comes to the speeches . Traditionally it is the groom's place to compliment and thank the bridesmaids in his speech. It's also the groom's responsibility to present the bridal attendants with a thank you gift .

Chief Bridesmaid,

Matron of Honour or Best Woman

This most important attendant has a vital role in your preparations and plays a supporting role throughout your wedding day

If she's single, she is your chief bridesmaid, if she's married she is your matron of honour and more recently she is often called the best woman, but whatever her title, she is as important to you as the best man is to your groom. Usually she will either be your best friend, sister or other very close female relative, maybe even a daughter if you have grown up children.

Chief Bridesmaid Duties

You should involve your chief bridesmaid in discussions and decisions in the planning stages and use her as a sounding board for your ideas right from the start.

Her main duty is to be your personal assistant. She should be someone you can rely on to chase quotes if required and calm you down when stress gets the better of you.

A most important task for your chief bridesmaid is to be an honest and reliable critic when it comes to choosing your dress. She should be constructive about the styles and colours that suit you best but make sure you give her some idea what you are looking for.

Along with helping you select your dress, your chief bridesmaid should be involved in choosing outfits for herself and your other attendants. Give her a clear idea of the colours and styles that you have in mind and the ages of your attendants. She should also help with getting your other attendants to fittings on time.

Another task that may crop up is to act as an intermediary if differences of opinion occur, maybe between you and your parents or parents-in-law. Hopefully this will not be necessary but they do happen from time to time. One of her more fun duties is to arrange your hen night celebrations. This can range from an evening in a restaurant to an action packed weekend away. Although these celebrations are supposed to be a surprise for you, you should make it clear if there are any no go areas, such as muscle bound stripagrams, although this could be quite fun! Also, you should give her a list of who you want to invite as it is unlikely that she will know all of your friends. Finally, it is important that your chief bridesmaid attends your wedding rehearsal so that she knows where she and your other attendants should stand, when they should sit down and the exact order of the ceremony.

On The Day

Your chief bridesmaid's role on the day is of utmost importance to you and your other attendants. She must be the calming influence for your nerves throughout the entire day. Be the one to ensure that everyone is where they should be when they should be, that the right clothes and accessories are ready for the right person and be prepared to deal with any emergencies that might arise. Her other duties on the day include:

Arriving at your house in plenty of time to attend the hairdressers and make-up artist, being on hand to help dress younger attendants and keep them looking perfect before the transport arrives and ensuring that she has emergency supplies for you throughout the day, e.g. lipstick, tissues and hairgrips etc.

Your mum, attendants and chief bridesmaid will probably travel to the ceremony venue together, and your chief bridesmaid's calming influence will probably be tested to the fore, as they will all be excited and perhaps a little emotional about the coming events.

Upon Arrival at the Ceremony Venue

Once your attendants arrive at the venue the photographer may want to take some pictures before your arrival so your chief bridesmaid will have to organise the other attendants, particularly any very young ones. Upon your arrival she should ensure that everyone is in the right position behind you for your entrance and make any necessary adjustments to your veil and dress.

Once you have joined your groom your chief bridesmaid will take your bouquet and gloves, if you are wearing them, and look after them for the duration of the service. When the time comes to sign the register your chief bridesmaid will go with you into the vestry or side room, accompanied by the best man, to witness the signing. She and the best man, followed by your other attendants, will then take their positions behind you and your new husband for the recessional.

Once you are all outside, your chief bridesmaid will be called upon to help organise you and your other attendants for the photographs. It is also quite usual for her to have photographs taken with the best man.

Finally, she will have to gather together any runaway attendants and make sure that they are all in the car to take them to the reception.

At The Reception

Once at the reception your chief bridesmaid may be a part of the receiving line. The purpose of this line is to allow the guests to meet the bridal party, and to ensure that the bride and groom at least say a few words to each of their guests.

She may have the responsibility for displaying your bouquet somewhere safe, and preferably cool ensuring that it is not damaged during the rest of the day. This is especially important if you are planning to have your flowers preserved. She should also circulate amongst your guests during the reception, ensuring that they are enjoying themselves. In this way she acts as your back-up as you will only have limited time to spend with each of your guests.

Although the speeches are generally a male prerogative it is becoming more usual for either you or your chief bridesmaid, or even both of you to make a speech. If your chief bridesmaid is to make a speech then she should plan early and have a clear idea of the sentiments she wishes to express

Speeches

There is a growing trend for bridesmaids to make speeches but this is neither traditional nor compulsory and will not happen at all weddings. However, with the bride now making speeches, it is a nice touch for her Chief Bridesmaid (or one of the bridesmaids - possibly her best friend or sister) to add a short speech to the others. Keep it simple and use it to show an aspect of your friend that you most admire e.g. she's a good friend or has done really well in her career. Remember that her family and work colleagues may be at the wedding so avoid any scandalous revelations or mentions of how much she hates her job!

Treat your Chief Bridesmaid to our NEW Speeches book, crammed with sample speeches and advice, it also features a selection of useful tips on preparing and delivering a memorable wedding speech.

Avoid referring to anything that the groom does not know about and that could cause unnecessary embarrassment.

Don't refer to the past relationships of either the bride or groom. The reference may be funny in private conversation, but it would be unwise to use it as material for a speech aimed at a family audience.

Consider using an anecdote about something that has happened during the day, or a comment that one of the party made to you earlier. These do not necessarily have to be true. If you say "someone said to me earlier that." no one will know who the "someone" was and whether it was actually said. This also means that you do not pin a comment, whether positive or slightly negative, on any one guest. This works particularly well if you comment on something said to you by the bride.

A suggested content of a chief bridesmaid's speech is given below, which is traditionally light hearted and hopefully, witty and amusing, It is unlikely to be relevant to your situation but will serve as a starting point.

Sample Speech

You may think that you have heard all that needs to be said, but I haven't even started yet. Don't despair though, I am not the stereotypical woman, who you men think can talk forever on any subject, although weddings has become a speciality of mine over the last twelve months.

I would just like to take this opportunity to say a heartfelt thank you to Abbey for giving me the honour of being her chief bridesmaid. I felt so very proud when she asked me and confess to shedding the odd tear or two. The only time I have ever felt prouder in my life is today, as I have watched my little brat of a sister make a miraculous transition into this beautiful, radiant woman. And there were times when we all thought that this would never happen as we could not believe that anyone would ever take her on - what with her history! Of course I mean her history of accidents. Abbey is the only person I know who, on the most important day of her life, managed to spill hot tea on her foot, trip up the stairs, slip in the bathroom, fall over her slippers and then put the heel of her shoe through the hem of her petticoat. And all that in one morning. Thankfully these were all minor mishaps and she has got through the day in one piece. Sadly the same cannot be said for the cat, who she managed step on as she made her grand appearance down the stairs and who is now nursing a somewhat misshapen tail. My only words of advice to you Matt is to make sure that you are both well insured, you may need it.

We have all heard the lovely compliments paid to the bridesmaids and I thank Robert (the best man) on their behalf. I would like to return the compliment and say how handsome the groomsmen all look in their morning suits. However, I am amazed that Tony (the chief usher) is wearing a matching outfit as I did have to explain to him that it was a morning suit not a mourning suit and we were going to celebrate Matt and Abbey's wedding, not bury them. Nevertheless it is wonderful to see that he has gone to so much effort to look good, a new haircut, close shave, nose and ears hair free - it didn't work though, did it! Sorry Tony, just joking, I think you look absolutely gorgeous.

Anyway, as one in the know, having experienced the joys of marriage for the last two years, I would like to give Matt and Abbey some genuine advice and perhaps words of comfort for the years to come: "Marriage is a great university. It teaches you patience, consideration, understanding.and all sorts of nonsense you wouldn't have needed if you had stayed single!" So let us raise our glasses once again, and I am sure mum will have no objections to that, and wish Matt and Abbey everything that they could possibly desire for their future together.

Evening Reception

The first dance is exclusively your privilege, but it is traditional for your chief bridesmaid to take the floor with the best man to join you in the second dance. Finally, when you change into your going away outfit your chief bridesmaid should be on hand to take care of your dress and ensure that it is returned to your home or, if necessary, to the hire shop. The other attendants' dresses may need to be returned as well, so she may well be asked to take responsibility for this too.

Bridesmaids and Pageboys

Your other main attendants are your bridesmaids and pageboys who are traditionally close relations or friends from either of your families.

Young bridesmaids and pageboys make be a beautiful addition to your bridal party, with their uninhibited and natural behaviour providing much amusement and some relief from the tensions of the day.

However,age is an important factor when choosing these attendants, as while very young bridesmaids and pageboys may look delightful they could end up being a fidgeting nightmare and are often reluctant to perform to cue.

This is where your chief bridesmaid will come into her own, as does a small bag of jellied sweets, to encourage good behaviour. The main function of your bridesmaids and pageboys is to accompany you during your ceremony and generally add to the beauty of the day.

All of your attendants or their parents should make themselves available for dress fittings, although you must be flexible about this yourself. Older bridesmaids should be willing to help out with the planning and arrangements where required.

Be sure that your attendants are all clearly aware of what is expected of them before and on the day. Parents of your younger attendants should also be included so that they can have practice runs with them as if they have no idea what is going on they can become fretful and fidgety. It is not essential to have all your attendants at your rehearsal, but it can help. So take them along if you can.

On The Day

Your bridesmaids and pageboys generally get ready at your home before travelling with the chief bridesmaid to the ceremony venue. You must therefore be sure that older attendants are clearly aware of when and where they are needed.

Parents of younger children may need to be roped in to help in the preparations however, very often they tend to be more co-operative if their mum is not around so be sure to arrange plenty of helpers.

Once at the church or venue the bridesmaids and pageboys wait outside for you to arrive and then follow behind you and the chief bridesmaid as you make your entrance.

Usually they will stand behind you throughout the service, and then follow you as you leave, but be prepared for younger ones to sit with their parents. You should ensure that the ushers are aware of this possibility and seat parents as close to the front as possible.

Your bridesmaids and pageboys will be required to pose for photographs, which can take some time. Again, if you have very young attendants it is best to have the important shots that will include them taken first, as it doesn't take long for boredom to turn into mischief or tears. They will then leave in the car with your chief bridesmaid to make their way to the reception.

After The Ceremony

It is not usual for your bridesmaids and pageboys to form part of the receiving line but they may be asked to hand round slices of cake to the guests during the reception to keep them involved.

Older attendants can join the top table if there is room, but it is often better to allow younger ones to sit with their parents close by.

Ring Bearer

The role of the ring bearer is quite simple. He/she carries the ring or rings, often on a cushion, to be presented during the ceremony. The ring bearer is usually a child and it is a perfect role to bestow on your own child/children, to directly involve them in your ceremony. He/she can be dressed to match your other attendants or have a completely individual outfit to make them stand out. An older child can also fulfil this role but can perhaps hold the rings in their boxes instead.

Flower Girl

The flower girl is usually an extra to your bridesmaids, and traditionally walks in front of the bridal party on their way down the aisle at the start of the ceremony. As her name suggests, she scatters petals or confetti on the ground for you to walk through. However, many venues/churches do not permit this, so instead she can carry a basket of confetti or petals during the ceremony, and then distribute it outside at the end of the service.

A flower girl is usually a young child, often dressed as a flower fairy, but there is no reason why an older relative or friend shouldn't perform this role. However, if your flower girl is very young then it may be wise to allow her to make her entrance with you and then sit with her parents during the ceremony and rejoin you afterwards for the recessional.

Poems suitable for civil and religious ceremonies

(the following poems do not have any religious content or meaning)

If Thou Must Love Me

Elizabeth Barrett Browing (1806-1861)

If thou must love me, let it be for naught

Except for love's sake only. Do not say,

'I love her for her smile - her look - her way

Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day' -

For these things in themselves, beloved, may

Be changed, or change for thee - and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

True Love

Author Unknown

Truelove is a sacred flame

That burns eternally,

And none can dim its special glow

Or change its destiny.

True love speaks in tender tones

And hears with gentle ear,

True love gives with open heart

And true love conquers fear.

True love makes no harsh demands

It neither rules nor binds,

And true love holds with gentle hands

The hearts that it entwines.

The Bargain

Sir Philip Sidney (1554-86)v

My true love hath my heart, and I have his,

By just exchange one for another given:

I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,

There never was a better bargain driven:

My true love hath my heart, and I have his.

His heart in me keeps him and me in one,

My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:

He loves my heart, for once it was his own,

I cherish his because in me it bides:

My true love hath my heart, and I have his.

I Will Be Here

Steven Curtis Chapman

If in the morning when you wake,

If the sun does not appear,

I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love,

Hold my hand and have no fear,

I will be here.

I will be here,

When you feel like being quiet,

When you need to speak your mind I will listen.

Through the winning, losing, and trying we'll be together,

And I will be here.

If in the morning when you wake,

If the future is unclear,

I will be here.

As sure as seasons were made for change,

Our lifetimes were made for years,

I will be here.

I will be here,

And you can cry on my shoulder,

When the mirror tells us we're older.

I will hold you, to watch you grow in beauty,

And tell you all the things you are to me.

We'll be together and I will be here.

I will be true to the promises I've made,

To you and to the one who gave you to me.

I will be here.

Marriage

Mary Weston Fordham

The die is cast, come weal, come woe,

Two lives are joined together,

For better or for worse, the link

Which naught but death can sever.

The die is cast, come grief, come joy.

Come richer, or come poorer,

If love but binds the mystic tie,

Blest is the bridal hour.

To My Bride

(shortened version)

Wilferd Arlan Peterson

To my bride, I give you my heart

Sharing love each day, from the very start

To my bride, I give you my kiss

Filling each day with joy and bliss

To my bride, I give you my being

To love, to play, to work and to sing

To my bride, I give you my mind

Learning each day to be more kind

To my bride, I give you my soul

Growing together to be more whole

To my bride, I give you my life

Rejoicing each day that you are my wife.

Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her

Christopher Brennan (1870-1932)

If questioning would make us wise

No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;

If all our tale were told in speech

No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh

And love not bound in hearts of flesh

No aching breasts would yearn to meet

And find their ecstasy complete.

For who is there that lives and knows

The secret powers by which he grows?

Were knowledge all, what were our need

To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?

Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"

I love you now until I die.

For I must love because I live

And life in me is what you give.

Reprise

Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

Geniuses of countless nations

Have told their love for generations

Till all their memorable phrases

Are common as goldenrod or daisies.

Their girls have glimmered like the moon,

Or shimmered like a summer moon,

Stood like a lily, fled like a fawn,

Now the sunset, now the dawn,

Here the princess in the tower

There the sweet forbidden flower.

Darling, when I look at you

Every aged phrase is new,

And there are moments when it seems

I've married one of Shakespeare's dreams.

Only Our Love

John Donne (1572-1631)

Only our love hath no decay;

This, no tomorrow hath, nor yesterday,

Running it never runs from us away,

But truly keeps his first, last, everlasting day.

Sonnet From The Portugese XLIII

Elizabeth Barrett Browing (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Destiny

Sir Edwin Arnold (1832-1904)

Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours

For one lone soul another lonely soul,

Each choosing each through all the weary hours

And meeting strangely at one sudden goal.

Then blend they, like green leaves with golden flowers,

Into one beautiful and perfect whole;

And life's long night is ended, and the way

Lies open onward to eternal day.

This Day I Married My Best Friend

Author Unknown

This day I married my best friend

...the one I laugh with as we share life's wonderous zest,

as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best.

...the one I live for because the world seems brighter

as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter.

...the one I love with every fiber of my soul.

We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole.

Today I Married My Best Friend

Rachel Elizabeth Cooper (b.1977)

Today I married my best friend,

Our bond complete, it hath no end,

We share one soul, we share one heart,

A perfect time - a perfect start.

With these rings we share together,

Love so close to last forever,

This special day - two special hearts,

Let nothing keep this love apart.

When You Are Old

William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Now What Is Love

Thomas Rainborow (d.1648)

Now what is love? I pray thee, tell.

It is that fountain and that well,

Where pleasure and repentance dwell.

Love's Philosophy

Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)

[Bysshe is pronounced Bish]

The fountains mingle with the rivers

And the rivers with the oceans,

The winds of heaven mix forever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother,

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

A Dedication To My Wife

T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)

To whom I owe the leaping delight

That quickens my senses in our walkingtime

And the rhythm that governs the repose of our sleepingtime,

The breathing in unison.

Of lovers whose bodies smell of each other

Who think the same thoughts without need of speech

And babble the same speech without need of meaning.

No peevish winter wind shall chill

No sullen tropic sun shall wither

The roses in the rose-garden which is ours and ours only

But this dedication is for others to read:

These are my private words addressed to you in public.

I Promise

Dorothy R. Colgan

I promise to give you the best of myself

and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person

and to realise that your interests, desires and needs

are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention

and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you,

to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears

and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you,

to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I promise to love you in good times and in bad,

with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how.

Completely and forever.

Marriage Advice

Jane Wells (1886)

Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger.

Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.

Believe the best rather than the worst.

People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them.

Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship.

The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies

and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.

Please hand this down to your children and your children's children.

Never Marry But For Love

William Penn (1644-1718)

Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely. He that minds a body and not a soul has not the better part of that relationship, and will consequently lack the noblest comfort of a married life.

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. As love ought to bring them together, so it is the best way to keep them well together.

A husband and wife that love one another show their children that they should do so too. Others visibly lose their authority in their families by their contempt of one another, and teach their children to be unnatural by their own examples.

Let not enjoyment lessen, but augment, affection; it being the basest of passions to like when we have not, what we slight when we possess.

Here it is we ought to search out our pleasure, where the field is large and full of variety, and of an enduring nature; sickness, poverty or disgrace being not able to shake it because it is not under the moving influences of worldly contingencies.

Nothing can be more entire and without reserve; nothing more zealous, affectionate and sincere; nothing more contented than such a couple, nor greater temporal felicity than to be one of them.

The Art Of A Good Marriage

Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

The Art Of A Good Marriage

(shortened version)

Wilferd Arlan Peterson

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands,

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day,

It is never going to sleep angry,

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives,

It is standing together and facing the world,

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family,

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways,

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget,

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow,

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful,

It is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right partner.

A Good Wedding Cake

Author Unknown

4lb of love.

1lb butter of youth.

½lb of good looks.

1lb sweet temper.

1lb of blindness of faults.

1lb of self forgetfulness.

1lb of pounded wit.

1lb of good humour.

2 tablespoons of sweet argument.

1 pint of rippling laughter.

1 wine glass of common sense.

1oz modesty.

Put the love, good looks and sweet temper into a well furnished house. Beat the butter of youth to a cream, and mix well together with the blindness of faults. Stir the pounded wit and good humour into the sweet argument, then add the rippling laughter and common sense. Work the whole together until everything is well mixed, and bake gently for ever.

The Blessing Of The Apaches

Author Unknown

Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness for you,

For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,

To enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Apache Blessing

Author Unknown

May the sun bring you new energy by day,

May the moon softly restore you by night,

May the rain wash away your worries

And the breeze blow new strength into your being,

And all of the days of your life may you walk

Gently through the world and know its beauty.

Eskimo Love Song

Author Unknown

You are my husband [wife]

My feet shall run because of you

My feet dance because of you

My heart shall beat because of you

My eyes see because of you

My mind thinks because of you

And I shall love because of you.

from Gift From The Sea

Anne Morrow Lindbergh (b.1906)

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love

Edmund O'Neill (b.1929)

Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfil.

Love Poems Readings and Quotations

Readings 1

(for civil and religious ceremonies)

We hope you enjoy reading our collection of readings, since they have no religious content or meaning, they are suitable for both civil and religious services. Please note, you must obtain the prior approval of your registrar or church minister for any readings you wish to include in your service. Their opinions as to what is suitable do vary and their word is final!

To quickly find what you want just use this drop down menu:

select from House at Pooh Corner Us Two from Now We Are Six What Is Love If Our Family Love Is A Great Thing

from The House At Pooh Corner

A.A. Milne (1882-1956)

"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."

Pooh thought for a little.

"How old shall I be then?"

"Ninety-nine." Pooh nodded.

"I promise," he said.

Still with his eyes on the world, Christopher Robin put out a hand and felt for Pooh's paw.

"Pooh," said Christopher Robin earnestly, "if I - if I'm not quite" he stopped and tried again "Pooh, whatever happens, you will understand, won't you?

"Understand what?"

"Oh, nothing." He laughed and jumped to his feet. "Come on!"

"Where?" said Pooh.

"Anywhere," said Christopher Robin.

Us Two from Now We Are Six

A.A. Milne (1882-1956)

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,

There's always Pooh and Me.

Whatever I do, he wants to do,

"Where are you going today?" says Pooh...

"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.

"Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.

"Let's go together," says Pooh.

"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh,

"Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.

"I think it ought to be twenty two."

"Just what I think myself," said Pooh.

"It wasn't an easy sum to do,

But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he.

"That's what it is," said Pooh.

"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.

"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.

We crossed the river and found a few...

"Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.

"As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.

That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.

"That's what they are," said Pooh.

"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.

"That's right," said Pooh to Me.

"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,

And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!

Silly old dragons!"... and off they flew.

"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,

"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,

There's always Pooh and Me.

"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,

"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said... "True,

It isn't much fun for One, but Two

Can stick together," says Pooh, says he.

"That's how it is," says Pooh.

What Is Love

Author Unknown

Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favourite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams. Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who love.

If

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the will which says to them: "hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a man my son!

Our Family

Author Unknown

Our family is a circle of love and strength.

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more love.

Every obstacle faced together makes the circle stronger.

Love Is A Great Thing

Thomas à Kempis (1379-1471)

Love is a great thing, yea, a great and thorough good. By itself it makes that is heavy light; and it bears evenly all that is uneven.

It carries a burden which is no burden; it will not be kept back by anything low and mean; it desires to be free from all wordly affections, and not to be entangled by any outward prosperity, or by any adversity subdued.

Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility. It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down.

Though weary, it is not tired; though pressed it is not straitened; though alarmed, it is not confounded; but as a living flame it forces itself upwards and securely passes through all.

Love is active and sincere, courageous, patient, faithful, prudent and manly.

Readings 2

(for religious ceremonies only)

We hope you enjoy reading our collection of readings that are suitable for religious services only (because of their religious content or meaning). Please note, you must obtain the prior approval of your church minister for any reading you wish to include in your service.

To quickly find what you want just use this drop down menu:

select The Most Wonderful of All Things In Life Desiderata Why Marriage? On Marriage Blessing For A Marriage

The Most Wonderful Of All Things In Life

Sir Hugh Walpole (1884-1941)

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Why Marriage?

Mari Nichols-Haining

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,

With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,

Who won't hold them against me,

Who loves me when I'm unlikable,

Who sees the small child in me, and

Who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night

With someone who thanks God for me,

With someone I feel blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity

To grow in love in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline

To be added to a list of achievements...

Because marriages do not fail, people fail

When they enter into marriage

Expecting another to make them whole...

Because, knowing this,

I promise myself to take full responsibility

For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness

I create me,

I take half of the responsibility for my marriage

Together we create our marriage...

Because with this understanding

The possibilities are limitless.

On Marriage

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Blessing For A Marriage

James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.

May you want one another, but not out of lack.

May you entice one another, but not compel one another.

May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.

May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence - no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.

May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!

The Prayer

St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

Lord, make us instruments of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let us sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is discord, union;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

To Be One With Each Other

George Eliot (1819-1880)

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labour, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?

On Love

Thomas à Kempis (1379-1471)

Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good.

Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth.

It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable.

Nothing is sweeter than love,

Nothing stronger,

Nothing higher,

Nothing wider,

Nothing more pleasant,

Nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God.

Love flies, runs and leaps for joy.

It is free and unrestrained.

Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds.

Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil,

attempts things beyond its strength.

Love sees nothing as impossible,

for it feels able to achieve all things.

It is strange and effective,

while those who lack love faint and fail.

Love is not fickle and sentimental,

nor is it intent on vanities.

Like a living flame and a burning torch,

it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle.

The Prophet

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you with hold the "aye." And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Irish Blessing

Traditional

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you;

May you see your children's children.

May you be poor in misfortune,

Rich in blessings,

May you know nothing but happiness

From this day forward.

May the road rise to meet you

May the wind be always at your back

May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home

And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on,

May blue be the skies above you,

May pure be the joys that surround you,

May true be the hearts that love you.

Family Poems

We hope you enjoy reading our collection of family poems. You might want to include them inside a thank-you card, frame them or read them at your reception.

To quickly find what you want just use this drop down menu:

select My Daughter's Wedding Day My Father's Child To Dad A Father's Love My Special Hero

My Daughter's Wedding Day

Bev P

It's here at last, your wedding day,

You soon will be a bride.

Today you'll leave this little church

With husband by your side.

Just reminiscing, looking back,

As I stand in the pew,

The time has flown so quickly -

Where have the years gone to?

I turn to see my little girl

Come walking up the aisle,

Leaning on her father's arm,

Her face a beaming smile.

Her eyes are filled with tenderness,

And mine are filled with tears,

As I look back on childhood days,

And then to teenage years.

We've had so many lovely times,

We've shared so many things -

Thoughts, ambitions, dreams, desires,

And hopes that soared on wings.

But now I have to let you go,

My thoughts are in a whirl -

This lovely radiant woman

Is still my little girl.

My Father's Child

Author Unknown

I am my father's child

I held his hand when I was young

I cried to leave

I've cried when he goes

I got his energy

and I sort of got his nose

I am my father's child

I looked up to him when I was young

I've talked countless talks

I've read his books

I received his personality

I interpret his 'looks'

I am my father's child

I hold his hand, look up to him

Though today I am no longer young

To Dad

Author Unknown

He is like a solid tree trunk,

My shelter from the storm.

His strong hands support me,

In every way.

Shielding me from the storms,

And gales of life.

Nothing can knock this tree down,

It will only bend to love.

This tree, so mighty, majestic,

And strong,

This man so encircling.

My father is that shelter from the storm,

An unending circle of love,

That will never break

A Father's Love

Sir Shotgun

No matter what has come about

you were always there,

As a Dad you showed me of the how,

the why, and the where

And even when I've let you down

it's me I've really failed,

The oceans of this stormy life

I've conquered and I've sailed

The courage to keep pushing on

is what I've learned from you,

And in the years to come I hope

you'll feel the same way, too.

I promise we'll be closer

and we'll do thing's never done,

And so I send this poem to you

from me....your loving son.

My Special Hero

Corky Ferguson

When I was a baby

You would hold me in your arms

I felt the love and tenderness

Keeping me safe from harm.

I would look up into your eyes

And all the love I would see

How did I get so lucky

You were the dad chosen for me.

There is something special

About a Father's love

Seems it was sent to me

From someplace up above.

Our love is everlasting

I just wanted you to know

That you are my special hero

And wanted to tell you so.

Dad

Kit McCallum

I know it's not often enough I share with you Dad;

Seems long ago, when I was young;

I looked to you for guidance and love;

I listened to you;

Relied on you;

And craved for your attention.

And as I grew, you stood patiently behind me,

Allowing me to stretch my wings;

Test the waters,

And make my mistakes.

Thank you for loving me as you do;

Enough to let me take a fall

While you waited in the sidelines;

Enough to watch quietly

As I matured and learned.

It may not be often enough I share with you Dad;

But thank you for being the father that you are;

A father whom I am proud of .

A father I can still turn to for guidance and love .

No matter how old I really am.

My Treasure (For Mum)

Kit McCallum

I look back on these years

To see how far I've come and grown,

I take a trip down memory lane,

And what I see has shown ...

That every step I've taken,

You have been there by my side ...

From infancy to adulthood,

We've stood the test of time.

You cradled me and nurtured me,

Through all these many years;

You held me and did comfort me,

Through happiness and tears.

You'd pick me up when I would fall,

You'd dust me off and then,

Encourage me to get back on

That bike and ride again.

Your constant care and loving,

And your warm inviting heart,

Has always been a treasure

that I knew would n'er depart.

If I could be "just half" the person

You have been to me ...

Then you have taught me well dear mum,

For in my heart I see ...

A woman whose most gentle soul,

Embraces me each day ...

A woman whom I dearly love,

Much more than words can say.

Mother's Glue

Charmer

I wonder how she does it, holding it together the way she does.

It seems no matter how life gets out of place she puts it back the way it was.

It's always been a mystery, but I guess it must be true.

That there is nothing stronger than a mother's love when she uses Mother's Glue.

Now Mother's Glue is not a recipe, or that sticky stuff used in art.

But it's that special love that mothers use to keep your life from falling apart.

It's the way she is always there to listen so you know that everything will be okay.

It's that special bonding hug she gives you to help you make it through the day.

It's the way she is able to touch your face and hold the tears away.

It's the way she stays up all night with you to hold the fears away.

It's the way she makes the sacrifice because she'll do anything for you.

Because she knows you just wouldn't make it if she didn't use Mother's Glue

But, if you're still not sure then ask her, and I'll bet she'll just smile at you.

Because a mother never uses words, she just uses Mother's Glue..

M-O-T-H-E-R

Howard Johnson (c.1915)

M is for the million things she gave me,

O means only that she's growing old

T is for the tears she shed to save me,

H is for her heart of pure gold;

E is for her eyes, with love-light shining

R means right, and right she'll always be,

Put them all together, they spell MOTHER,

A word that means the world to me

At My Daughter's Side

Linda Jo

Tomorrow was a lifetime away, now suddenly it's here.

How did it happen so quickly? This wedding drawing near.

How can I act so happy? How can I act so gay?

When in such a very short time, I'll give my daughter away.

I wish I could grasp a moment, and make the clock stand still

So I could let my heart catch up, but I know it never will.

All the worries of being a parent, all the battles won,

No one ever warned me about the day the job is done.

Yet, there is another side, where my heart is not as sad.

When I look in my daughter's eyes, I can't help but be joyful and glad.

This is the day she has dreamt about, for just about all her life.

She's going to be such a beautiful bride and a loving, caring wife.

I'll stand with the congregation as my daughter walks down the aisle

And even though there are tears in my eyes, my face will bare a smile.

For I know that I was very blessed when God lent this child to me.

To love and care for and nurture, so she would grow up to be

This lovely, bright young woman, who tomorrow will be a bride

And as always I'll be there, with love at my daughter's side.

Our Mother

Author Unknown

You are the mother I received

The day I wed your son.

And I just want to thank you, Mum

For all the things you've done.

You've given me a gracious man

With whom I share my life.

You are his loving mother and

I his lucky wife.

You used to pat his little head,

And now I hold his hand.

You raised in love a little boy

And gave to me a man.

The problem with most women is that they get all

excited about nothing and then marry him.

Cher (b1946)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better

revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

There is only one happiness in life,

to love and be loved.

George Sands (1804-1876)

There is no remedy for love than to love more.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio.

What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for? What is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same. Only love."

From the film Don Juan DeMarco (1995)

If you want to be loved, love and be lovable.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

l haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her!

Ken Dodd (b1927)

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind...

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)

Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise,

the amazement of the Gods.

Plato (c.428-348 BC)

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.

Robert Browning (1812-1889)

I married beneath me, all women do!

Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964)

Spice a dish with love and it pleases every palate.

Plautus (c.254-184 BC)

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life;

that word is love.

Sophocles (c496-406 BC)

A successful man is one who can make

more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner (b1920)

When you're young, you think of marriage as a train you simply have to catch.

You run and run until you've caught it, and then you sit back and look out of

the window and realise you're bored!

Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973)

Take it from me, marriage isn't a word, it's a sentance!

Vidor King (1895-1982)

The only gift is a portion of thyself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can

have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie (1891-1975)

Love those who love you.

Voltaire (1694-1778)

Love does not consist of gazing at each other,

but looking outward in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944)

You are always new,

The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest.

John Keats (1795-1821)

Never love unless you can bear with all the faults of man!

Thomas Campion (1567-1620)

And all for love, and nothing for reward.

Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons,

madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.

Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais (1732-1799)

If music be the food of love, play on...

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

God is Love - I dare say.

But what a mischievous devil Love is!

Samuel Butler (1612-1680)

If there is such a thing as a good marriage,

it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)

I love thee like puddings; if thou wert pie I'd eat thee.

John Ray (1627-1705)

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,

as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.....

François de La Rouchefoucauld

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

Mark Twain

A good wife always knows her place.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Louis de Bernieres

Love is a temporary madness,

it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together

that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness,

it is not excitement,

it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.

That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,

and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,

and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,

they find that they are one tree and not two.

Traditional Graces

We often get asked for examples of a traditional grace which may be used before the wedding breakfast. We hope this selection of graces will offer some inspiration.

Father we thank Thee for this food,

for health and strength and all things good.

May others all these blessings share,

and hearts be grateful everywhere.

(Traditional, circa 1800s)

Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it;

But we hae meat and we can eat,

And sae the Lord be thanit.

(Robert Burns)

Our Father in Heaven,

We give thanks for the pleasure of gathering together for this occasion.

We give thanks for this food prepared by loving hands.

We give thanks for life, the freedom to enjoy it all.

And all other blessings. As we partake of this food,

We pray for health and strength to carry on

and try to live as you would have us.

This we ask in the name of Christ Our Heavenly Father.

(Harry Jewell, mid-1900s)

For what we are about to receive

may the Lord make us truly thankful

for Jesus Christ sake. Amen

We thank you, Lord, for happy hearts,

for rain and sunny weather;

we thank you for the food we eat,

and that we are together. Amen

Thank you God for blue skies over me,

Green grass under me,

Good friends beside me.

Thank you God for good food in front of me

And peace all over the world. Amen

Thank you for the world so sweet,

Thank you for the food we eat,

Thank you for the birds that sing,

Thank you, God, for everything!

(Edith Rutter Leatham)

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