Weddings
Legal
Requirements
Preparing
for a Wedding at a Licensed Venue
Legal
requirements
Preparing
for a Register Office wedding
Muslim
weddings and divorce
Mahr
The
Marriage Ceremony
Divorce
and the Quakers
Preparing
for a Quaker Wedding
A
Typical Wedding Ceremony
Preparing
for a Register Office wedding
Divorce
and Roman Catholicism
The
Salvation Army and divorce
Preparing
for a Salvation Army Wedding
A
Typical Wedding Ceremony
Divorce
and the Sikh religion
Preparations
for a Sikh wedding
Glossary
of Terms
United
Reform Church Ceremonies
Divorce
and the United Reformed Church
A
Typical Wedding Ceremony
Flotation
Hydrotherapy
Marrying
Abroad
Austria
Alaska
Southern
Alaska (Average Maximum)
Hawaii
Making
A Will
'Living
Wills'
Wedding
Stationery
Cocktail
Capers
Preserving
The Memory
Create
your own stationery
Custom
designed stationery
Budgeting
For Your Flowers
Money
Saving Ideas
Doing
It Yourself
Caring
And Preparation Of Your Flowers
Bride's
bouquet
Bridesmaids'
flowers
Flower
girl's petals
Headdresses
for bride and bridesmaids
Buttonholes
Corsages
Flowers
for the mothers of the bride and groom
Ceremony
flower arrangements
Reception
flower arrangements
Choosing
A Flower Arranger
Creative
Ideas
Fragrant
Flowers
Buttonholes
and Corsages
Flower
Arrangements For The Wedding Ceremony
Confetti
Flower
Arrangements For The Reception
Flowers
And Colours To Suit Your Star Sign
The
Symbolic Meanings Of Flowers
The
Symbolic Meanings Of Flowers
Introduction
Since the change in the law in April 1995, it is
possible to have a civil wedding ceremony in buildings other than a Register
Office and there are currently around 4000 licensed venues in England and Wales including castles, hotels,
stately homes, football stadiums and even zoos.
Statistics show that out of the 175,000 weddings
taking place in the UK
in the year 2000 there are over 90,000 civil weddings, with about 50,000 at
approved premises.
Although register offices are no longer the cold,
official places that they once were, the wedding ceremony is short and any
personalisation of the service can be quite limited. An approved premises
venue, on the other hand, allows you the choice of venue that is as grand and
proud or as small and intimate as you want your
wedding to be, with a personalised service that can include your own vows or
commitment added to the statutory declaratory and contracting words. As time is
less restricted you can include more of your favourite music, love poems and readings
to make your wedding truly unique.
So, if you like the idea of a traditional white
wedding, but without any religious associations then a venue wedding is the
ideal choice. Also, if you have been divorced it is still often very difficult
to find a religious minister who will agree to perform the ceremony and
therefore a licensed venue can provide a wonderful alternative.
Licenses for premises are not granted to private
building or residences because free public access must always be guaranteed.
Parks, sports fields or other open spaces are inadmissible, as is any room that
contains a licensed bar. You cannot marry on anything mobile so forget a ship
or aircraft unless it is permanently fixed or moored, like the Golden Hinde on the
Thames. The service itself is not allowed to
include any religious symbolism including candles, hymns or religious readings
and the building must not have any religious connections, either past or
present.
The legal requirements for getting married at a
Licensed Venue are the same as those for getting married by civil ceremony at a
register office, but the attendance of a Registrar also needs to be arranged.
To arrange a wedding at an approved premises, you must
first get in touch with the venue to make a provisional booking. You should
then contact the register office in the district where the premises is located
to ensure that the Registration Officer can attend your wedding. If you want a
humanist ceremony you should also make a provisional booking with a celebrant.
Once these have been agreed you can then confirm your booking at the venue.
Notice of your marriage is given at the register
office in the district(s) where you live, not where the venue is situated. Once
you have been issued with your Marriage Authority this should be forwarded to
the Superintendent Registrar in the registration district covering your venue
for their records.
You should give notice of your marriage in the
registration district(s) where you live and not in the district where the
approved premises is situated (unless you live in that
area). Once you have been issued with your Marriage Authority, you must forward
it to the Superintendent Registrar in the district where you are getting
married for their records. Notice can be given up to twelve months before your
wedding date and the earlier you plan the more chance you have of getting your
chosen date and venue. In addition to the standard fees for a civil wedding
there is a further fee payable to the Registrar for getting married at approved
premises.
Licensed venues have a greater flexibility than
register offices regarding the times that ceremonies can be held. The available
times are between 8am and 6pm on any day but this will be down to the
individual venue.
For more information, see the article on Licensed
Venues.
There are many advantages to holding a wedding and
reception at a licensed venue. The rooms allocated for your ceremony are often
larger and grander than a register office so you may not be as restricted in
the number of guests you can invite. Also many venues have the facilities to
hold your reception as well as your ceremony, which allows the day to flow more
easily, but also eliminates any fears of losing any guests between the ceremony
and the meal! Many venues have a honeymoon suite and overnight accommodation
for your guests so you can easily make your day last an entire weekend by
sharing a wedding breakfast with your guests the next day.
Before you view a premises take time to think about
what you want and make a list of questions to ask and take a notebook with you
when visiting venues for jotting down any relevant points, for example:
Do you both like the venue?
Can you afford it?
Is it formal/informal
enough for you?
Can it accommodate all the guests you would like to
invite to the ceremony?
Does it offer reception facilities and menus that
you like?
Can you just have the ceremony there?
Can you just have the ceremony followed by a
celebratory drink and then leave?
Can you have a blessing following your ceremony?
Is there a music system you can use or space for
live music to be played?
Are the staff open to your ideas?
Will children be welcome and well catered for?
Is there a crèche?
Is the building accessible for all of your guests?
How far will guests have to travel?
Is there a good range of overnight accommodation
available locally?
Are there restrictions on the time the event must
finish?
Can you have music and dancing?
Can you decorate the venue as you wish?
Are there facilities for recorded or live music?
Will you have to pay extra for tables, chairs etc.?
Will the venue allow lighted candles? (many won't as they can be seen to have religious
connotations).
Ask where photographs can be taken, indoors and
outside?
Can you take your own drink? If so, how much is
corkage? And how much are the drinks provided at the venue?
Can you use external caterers?
Check policy regarding holding bedrooms for guests.
Does the package include, changing room,
toastmaster, cake stand, flowers, cake knife?
What happens between the meal and evening
entertainment, do they supply another room while furniture is being moved etc?
What time does the bar close? Can a special license
be granted?
What is the availability of taxis and alternative
hotels for guests?
Do they provide they round or square tables?
Do they allow more than one wedding per day? This is
important as you may find that there up to three or four weddings taking place
on the same day.
H easy will it be for your guests to find and then park?
What do I wear?
What you wear at your licensed venue wedding is
clearly a personal decision but with the variety of places to hold your wedding
there are endless possibilities for creating a theme for your wedding, you just
need some imagination and a sense of fun. Why not have a
medieval theme in a dramatic castle setting, with you as King Arthur and
Lady Guinevere and your guests as your lords and ladies? For something simpler
you could have a colour theme, from your outfits to the serviettes and have
your wedding room decorated to match. If getting married at your favourite
football team's stadium is your idea of the perfect day, then
you could go the whole hog and wear the team's strip, or at the very least
incorporate their colours. A wonderful alternative is to have your ceremony in
a beautiful theatre - simply pick a play and the stage is all yours to dress up
in whatever your imagination can think of.
Introduction
It may sound obvious, but the essential difference
between getting married in a church and in a register office is that the latter
has no religious significance. This is the cheapest and fastest way to get
married (taking between only ten and twenty minutes), and the ceremony is
usually held in a room within a civic building.
Getting married at a register office was once the
only option open to divorcees, those who had no religious beliefs, those
wanting a quick ceremony with minimal fuss or couples marrying someone from a
different faith. However, thanks to the 1994 Marriage Act which allows civil
ceremonies to take place at licensed venues, the register office has rapidly
lessened in popularity and many couples who choose to marry there want a
simple, legal wedding prior to a more personal blessing, wedding abroad or
Humanist ceremony.
You can often personalise your wedding with music,
poetry and flowers but any amends to the standard ceremony are at the
discretion of the individual registrar and must be agreed to beforehand. Often
time restraints and the registrar's personal opinion will restrict any attempt
to create a more personal service and you may prefer a civil ceremony in a
licensed venue.
You are legally entitled to marry at any register
office in Wales and England,
regardless of the area that you live in, although your notice of intention to
marry must be given at the register office(s) where each of you reside. Make an
appointment to see the Superintendent registrar at your chosen office as soon
as possible to set a date and obtain a licence. Your licence is valid for
twelve months from the date of issue, although register offices do not take
bookings more than three months in advance. A Superintendent registrar is
legally bound to perform a ceremony for divorcees provided you can produce your
Decree Absolute.
You will find more information on the legal requirements
to marry in a register office in our article, Marriage - Legal Requirements
The registrar usually shows you the marriage room
when you 'give notice'. As a general guide, most marriage rooms seat around 30
people and may have additional standing room. Bear in mind that there can be as
many as three ceremonies an hour taking place, particularly on a Saturday,
which is why you may not have time to decorate the room or personalise your
ceremony.
As with any type of ceremony and venue, there are no
rules about what a bride and groom should or should not wear, including
choosing a veil and white dress. Do make sure you check out the size of the
marriage room and how much space you have to manoeuvre before opting for a
full-skirted gown and voluminous train.
Parking for anyone other than the bridal party may
be limited as many register offices are in the centre of town and guests may
need to find parking arrangements nearby. It is always a good idea to check this
out first and include details with your invitations.
What happens on the day
You are both required to arrive at least ten minutes
before the ceremony is due to start so that you can meet with the registrar to
confirm your details and pay the ceremony fees. In these days of bogus
marriages and asylum seeking, they actually have to check that you really are
the couple who are supposed to be marrying! If you prefer not to see each other
before the ceremony, then you need to arrange beforehand to see the registrar
separately.
Guests should also arrive at least ten minutes
before the start of the ceremony so they have time to be seated. The
registrar's assistant will tell them when it is time to enter the marriage
room. As with a religious wedding, the front rows should be reserved for your
bridal party, closest family or friends.
You then have a choice of how you make your entrance
into the marriage room. You can enter after the guests, either with your groom
or on your father's arm, or another person of your choice. Alternatively you
can both take your places before your guests come in.
Most register offices allow video cameras during the
ceremony, but the operator must not cause distraction from the proceedings or
the solemnity of the occasion. Many offices will not permit photography during
the ceremony but are happy to allow photographs after the signing of the
register if there is enough time.
Introduction
Muslims believe in one God - Allah - who has
complete authority over the destiny of mankind and the prophets through whom
His revelations were revealed. Muslims believe that God's 'everlasting message'
to man was disclosed to the prophet Muhammad.
This revelation, which was memorised and written
down by the prophet, is know as the Koran (Qur'an). It is believed that none of
the 114 chapters have been changed over the centuries, so the Qur'an is
regarded as being the absolute unique text and is the primary source of every
Muslim's faith and practice. It deals with all the issues which concern
mankind: wisdom, principles, worship and law, but the fundamental theme is the
relationship between God and humankind.
Legal Requirements
UK marriage laws allow for mosques to be registered
for the solemnisation of marriages according to the rites of the Muslim
religion. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil
marriages. However, if the building in which you wish to marry is in a
different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the
superintendent registrar that the building is your normal place of worship. If
you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration
district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary
residency requirements.
If there is no mosque or registered building in the registration
district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a building in the
nearest registration district that has one.
A superintendent registrar may also need to attend
the ceremony. If the building in which you intend to marry is not registered
for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange a civil ceremony
beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.
A Muslim marriage is not a religious rite, but
simply a legal agreement. Divorce is not common among Muslims, although it is
not forbidden as a last resort. Before divorce is considered the couple are expected to attempt to reconcile their
differences in the first instance between themselves. If this fails then a
person from either family should arbitrate the situation. If these attempts at
reconciliation fail and both parties agree then divorce can be considered as an
option.
If after a divorce, a reunion occurs, it will be
regarded as a new marriage. However, there can be no more than two reunions.
The third divorce is the final one.
Customs
The Islamic religion recommends that a couple get to
know each other before marriage is considered, however they are not permitted
to be alone in a closed room or go out together unchaperoned. The parents usually
arrange marriages through recommendation, but the couple must both be in
agreement to the union.
Mahr is the marriage gift that a new wife is
entitled to and no marriage is regarded as being valid without it. It is a
token commitment of the husband and may be paid in cash, property or material
goods or can be non-material such as a commitment to teaching his wife to read
the Qur'an. The mahr may be paid immediately or deferred to a later date.
However, a deferred mahr is still due in the event of death or divorce.
Marriage is considered to be a social activity as
well as an act of worship (ibadah). A Muslim marriage ceremony (called Al
Nikah) begins with an address of a marriage sermon (khutba-tun-nikah) by the
officiator, who can be any worthy Muslim. The sermon invites the bride and
groom, as well as their guests, to a life of piety, mutual love, kindness and
social responsibility. Beginning with the praise of Allah, His help and
guidance is sought. This is followed by the Muslim confession of faith that
'There is none worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad is His servant and
messenger' is declared. Then the three Qur'anic verses (Qur'an 4:1, 3:102,
33:70-71) and one prophetic saying (hadith) forms the main text of the
marriage. This hadith is:
'O by Allah! Among all of you I am the most
God-fearing, and among you all, I am the supermost to save myself from the
wrath of Allah, yet my state is that I observe prayer and sleep too. I observe
fast and suspend observing them; I marry woman also. And he who turns away from
my Sunnah has no relation with me'. (Bukhari).
The officiator concludes the ceremony with prayer
(duOa) for the bride, groom and their respective families, the local Muslim
community and the Muslim community at large (Ummah).
After the consummation of the marriage, the groom
holds a celebration banquet called a walima. The relatives, neighbours and
friends are invited in order to make them aware of the marriage.
Introduction
Quakerism is a term used to describe members of the
Religious Society of Friends, the movement started in the middle of the 17th
century as a splinter group from the Christian Church. The Quakers believe that
there is part of God in everybody, and that God works through people. The
Quaker religion has no ministers or vicars and Quaker services, called
meetings, are mostly conducted in silence.
There are four testimonies of the Quaker religion:
peace, equality/community, simplicity and integrity, and members try to live
their lives by these. Quakers are traditionally pacifists and are known as
conscientious objectors during times of war.
Legal requirements
A couple wishing to have a Quaker wedding must make
an application to the registering officer at the Friend's monthly meeting. This
must be received about six weeks before the date of the intended wedding. The
couple must state that they are members of the Religious Society of Friends
when giving notice of marriage. If only one partner is a member of the Society,
the other will be asked to state that they are in sympathy with the nature of
the marriage and they must provide letters of recommendation from two other
members. Sometimes, people who are not Friends wish to use the Quaker marriage
ceremony. The members at a monthly meeting will decide whether to allow the
Quaker marriage ceremony to be used by non-members.
Once the formalities have been completed, the
registering officer will issue a form that needs to be taken to the
superintendent registrar when notice is given. The legal requirements to be
fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in
which the couple wish to marry is in a different registration district to the
area of residence, proof needs to be given to the superintendent registrar that
the building is the normal place of worship. If this is not possible, notice
needs to be given in the registration district in which the building is
situated, after the necessary residency requirement has been met. If there is
no building in the registration district in which the couple live, permission
will be given to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that
has one.
Once the certificate of marriage has been obtained
from the superintendent registrar, it needs to be produced on the day of the
marriage ceremony.
Whilst the Quakers recognise divorce, it is seen as
a failure - not only by the couple, but also by the people who silently
promised during the wedding ceremony to help them. The couple deciding to
separate will be offered support from other members, and be encouraged to make
the separation as positive an experience as possible.
Already-divorced people are able to marry within a
Quaker meeting, as long as they are legally free to do so and have satisfied
the members that they are ready to make this commitment. A Quaker wishing to be
remarried must explain their situation before the members at a monthly meeting,
to get permission to re-marry in front of the meeting. The marriage may only
take place once this has been granted.
A wedding may take place at any time and in any
venue, but is usually at the Meeting House. The Religious Society of Friends
believes it is important that the marriage should be part of the ordinary
meeting of the Friends, and should be quiet and simple, and, like their normal
meetings, held on the basis of silent communication of spirit.
The bride and groom, as well as the guests, are
dressed simply, in fitting with the rest of the ceremony. Sometimes the bride
will wear white, but she may also choose something that can be worn again. The
groom will probably wear a dark suit along with a buttonhole. Guests are
generally not welcome to take photographs during the ceremony itself as this
may disturb those in prayer.
Guests can be invited to the meeting, whether or not
they are Quakers. The bride and groom sit at the front of the group and face
everyone. At the start of the meeting it is usual for a Friend to briefly
explain the procedures of a Quaker wedding. The congregation
are free to stand and speak, or may choose to remain silent. There is no
procession at the start of the ceremony, no music or minister present, although
there may be more flowers decorating the room than usual.
Early on during the meeting, when they feel that it
is the right time, the bride and groom stand up, hold hands and make their
solemn declaration of marriage. The bride and groom will say the following
words:
Friends, I take this my friend, Mark/Julie, to be my
husband/wife, promising, through Divine assistance (or with God's help), to be
unto him/her a loving and faithful husband/wife, so long as we both on earth
shall live.
Elders may allow a variation to these words, and the
form of the vows will be agreed beforehand. After the couple
have taken their vows, the bride and groom and two witnesses, often
parents of the bride or groom, sign the elaborately decorated marriage
certificate, which is then read aloud to family, friends and members. The
meeting is continued after the couple sit down again.
A period of silence follows, during which anyone present is allowed to pray for
God's blessing on the couple, and commit him or herself to supporting the
couple however they can. The whole congregation will also sign the certificate,
as they were all witnesses to the marriage, but this is often carried out after
the meeting itself has finished.
The meeting continues in the normal way, with
friends speaking as they see fit, or remaining quiet. Later two of the Elders
stand and shake hands to solemnise the marriage and to show the end of the
meeting.
The exchange of wedding rings is not a formal part
of the Quaker marriage ceremony, although some couples like to incorporate it
into the service after the vows have been taken. An increasing number of Quaker
women retain their own family names as a sign of equality between the sexes.
Introduction
It may sound obvious, but the essential difference
between getting married in a church and in a register office is that the latter
has no religious significance. This is the cheapest and fastest way to get
married (taking between only ten and twenty minutes), and the ceremony is
usually held in a room within a civic building.
Getting married at a register office was once the
only option open to divorcees, those who had no religious beliefs, those
wanting a quick ceremony with minimal fuss or couples marrying someone from a
different faith. However, thanks to the 1994 Marriage Act which allows civil
ceremonies to take place at licensed venues, the register office has rapidly
lessened in popularity and many couples who choose to marry there want a simple,
legal wedding prior to a more personal blessing, wedding abroad or Humanist
ceremony.
You can often personalise your wedding with music,
poetry and flowers but any amends to the standard ceremony are at the
discretion of the individual registrar and must be agreed to beforehand. Often
time restraints and the registrar's personal opinion will restrict any attempt
to create a more personal service and you may prefer a civil ceremony in a
licensed venue.
Legal requirements
You are legally entitled to marry at any register
office in Wales and England,
regardless of the area that you live in, although your notice of intention to
marry must be given at the register office(s) where each of you reside. Make an
appointment to see the Superintendent registrar at your chosen office as soon
as possible to set a date and obtain a licence. Your licence is valid for
twelve months from the date of issue, although register offices do not take
bookings more than three months in advance. A Superintendent registrar is legally
bound to perform a ceremony for divorcees provided you can produce your Decree
Absolute.
You will find more information on the legal
requirements to marry in a register office in our article, Marriage - Legal
Requirements
The registrar usually shows you the marriage room
when you 'give notice'. As a general guide, most marriage rooms seat around 30
people and may have additional standing room. Bear in mind that there can be as
many as three ceremonies an hour taking place, particularly on a Saturday,
which is why you may not have time to decorate the room or personalise your
ceremony.
As with any type of ceremony and venue, there are no
rules about what a bride and groom should or should not wear, including
choosing a veil and white dress. Do make sure you check out the size of the
marriage room and how much space you have to manoeuvre before opting for a
full-skirted gown and voluminous train.
Parking for anyone other than the bridal party may
be limited as many register offices are in the centre of town and guests may
need to find parking arrangements nearby. It is always a good idea to check
this out first and include details with your invitations.
What happens on the day
You are both required to arrive at least ten minutes
before the ceremony is due to start so that you can meet with the registrar to
confirm your details and pay the ceremony fees. In these days of bogus
marriages and asylum seeking, they actually have to check that you really are
the couple who are supposed to be marrying! If you prefer not to see each other
before the ceremony, then you need to arrange beforehand to see the registrar
separately.
Guests should also arrive at least ten minutes
before the start of the ceremony so they have time to be seated. The
registrar's assistant will tell them when it is time to enter the marriage
room. As with a religious wedding, the front rows should be reserved for your
bridal party, closest family or friends.
You then have a choice of how you make your entrance
into the marriage room. You can enter after the guests, either with your groom
or on your father's arm, or another person of your choice. Alternatively you
can both take your places before your guests come in.
Most register offices allow video cameras during the
ceremony, but the operator must not cause distraction from the proceedings or
the solemnity of the occasion. Many offices will not permit photography during
the ceremony but are happy to allow photographs after the signing of the
register if there is enough time.
Introduction
Roman Catholics are Christians who believe that
Jesus was sent by God to show people the right way to live. The Pope, based in
The Vatican, is the leader of the Church and advises on matters of faith and
morality over his world-wide flock.
Central to the Roman Catholic faith are The Seven
Sacraments which are: Baptism, Penance (the confession and forgiveness of
sins), Holy Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders (where a person
devotes him or herself entirely to God), and becomes a nun (bride of Christ),
monk or priest, and relinquishes any right to marry, and Reconciliation (the
final sacrament, preparing the dying for ever-lasting life). The main
difference between the Protestant and Catholic beliefs is that Protestants
believe that Holy Communion (Eucharist) is a remembrance of Christ's last
supper, whereas the Catholic Church believe that the consecrated bread and wine
actually becomes the body and blood of Christ (transubstantiation). In
addition, Protestants only have two sacraments, neither of which are Marriage.
Legal requirements
If you are both Roman Catholic, the publication of
banns goes ahead as normal but they do not form part of the legal
preliminaries. If only one partner is Roman Catholic, banns are not published
and the priest of the Roman Catholic partner will have to give permission for
the marriage to take place either in a Roman Catholic Church or a non-Roman
Catholic church. The legal requirements to be
fulfilled for a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony are those that apply to civil
marriages. However, if the church is in a different registration district to
where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the
church is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be
required to give notice in the registration district in which the church is
situated after having met the necessary residency requirement. For further
information on this subject, please refer to the Marriage Legal Requirements
article.
Divorce is very difficult within the Catholic
Church, who do not recognise a civil divorce. The only
way to divorce within the Church is to receive an annulment. This is quite
often a long procedure and will only be granted if the marriage suits the
Causes of Marriage Nullity. However, a limited amount of priests are willing to
offer a church blessing to a couple if one of them is divorced, especially if
they are both regular churchgoers.
Introduction
The Salvation Army is a Christianity based religion,
whose beliefs are ostensibly the same as the Church of England's. Great use is
made of military terminology and prospective Salvationists sign a document
called the 'Articles of War' before being enrolled as a Salvation Army soldier.
Members of the Salvation Army believe that, men have
become degenerate sinners that are justly exposed to the wrath of God as a
result of Adam and Eve's disobedience. It is also believed that repentance
towards God, faith in Christ and restoration by the Holy Spirit are necessary
for salvation. Members believe marriage is a voluntary and loving union that
should last for life, at the exclusion of all others and a relationship of
love, reflecting God's love for the human race. Salvation Army officers must
marry another officer, although there are no such restrictions for other
Salvationists.
Legal Requirements
A certificate or licence has to be obtained in the
normal way for a wedding to be held in a Salvation Army
Church, as no banns are
read. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil
marriages. A superintendent registrar needs to attend the ceremony if the
officer is not authorised to register marriages. For further information,
please see the Marriage Legal Requirements article. Many Salvation Army
churches are licensed to hold weddings, and most Salvation Army officers can
hold weddings, so there will be no need for the couple to attend a civil
ceremony.
While it is believed that divorce is a failure,
Salvationists believe that Jesus would be compassionate to those struggling
with painful marriages. Therefore, the Salvation Army realises the certainty
that some marriages will fail, and allows its officers the option to perform
marriage ceremonies for divorced people, if it is believed that a remarriage
could lead to a positive outcome. Couples who have been married and divorced
can re-marry in the Salvation Army churches.
The Salvationist wedding is similar to any other
Christian ceremony, although, apart from the legal requirements, there is a lot
of flexibility in terms of choosing music and readings. There is no set text or
liturgy. A Salvation Army ceremony normally lasts about an hour and is often
very music orientated. Both members and non-members of the Salvation Army can
get married in a Salvation Army church, but the preparation that a couple must
go through before marriage differs from church to church and from officer to
officer. The couple are helped to understand the
meaning of marriage within the church, and the Christian significance of their
ceremony and promises. The officer preparing the couple may use a variety of
books and other resources to help the couple prepare for their commitment, and
this will probably take place over the few weeks leading up to the ceremony.
The majority of people getting married in the
Salvation Army do not wear the uniform that they may wear for ordinary
services, but normal bridal clothes. Most people have the usual attendants such
as bridesmaids, pageboys, and best men. However, if the couple both ordained
Salvation Army officers, (the equivalent of two ministers getting married),
they are expected to wear their uniforms.
In England
it is necessary for a registrar to attend the wedding as Salvation Army
officers are not automatically registered to perform weddings, however, this
does not apply to weddings in Scotland.
Continue to Salvation Army ceremonies
For the wedding of Salvationists the flag should be
held or placed behind the officiating officer. For the marriage of
non-Salvationists the army flag may be used at the officer's discretion.
In the case of Salvationists marrying, the ceremony
commences with a reading and explanation of the marriage articles. By means of
these articles, Salvationists not only make vows to each other but also affirm
publicly their joint dedication to God and his service. The officer should
explain the special nature of a Salvation Army wedding, bearing in mind that
usually some of the guests are not Salvationists and may not be committed
Christians. This introduction is omitted for non-Salvationists.
If seated, the bride and groom should be invited to
stand for the reading of the articles of marriage:
'We do solemnly declare that, although we enter into
this marriage for reasons of personal happiness and fulfilment, we will do our
utmost to ensure that our married status and relationship will deepen our
commitment to God and enhance the effectiveness of our service as soldiers of
Jesus Christ in the Salvation Army.
We promise to make our home a place where all shall
be aware of the abiding presence of God, and where those under our influence
shall be taught the truths of the gospel, encouraged to seek Christ as Saviour,
and supported in the commitment of their lives to the service of God.
We declare our intention to be to each other, by the
help of God, true Christian examples and, through the times of joy, difficulty
or loss, to encourage each other to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ'.
The officiating officer will then say to the bride
and groom:
If you wish to be married upon these terms, please
stand forward.
As the bride and groom stand forward, the
officiating officer then says to the congregation:
We are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the
name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to join this man and this woman in holy
matrimony, which had been sanctioned and blessed by Jesus Christ, and declared
in Scripture to be honourable among all men.
Then, addressing the bride and
groom:
I exhort you both to enter into this new and holy
relationship with reverent thought, honest intention, and in the fear of God,
duly considering the purpose for which marriage has been ordained.
I require and charge you both in the presence of God
and of this congregation that if either of you knows anything to prevent you
from being lawfully married you do now declare it.
The bridegroom then says after the officiating
officer, using all names:
I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful
impediment why I (name) may not be joined in matrimony to (name)
The bride then repeats the same statement
The officiating officer will then ask the
bridegroom:
Toby, will you take Joanna to be your wife, to live
according to God's ordinance in holy matrimony? Will you love her, comfort,
honour, and sustain her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long
as you both shall live?
The bridegroom answers: I will
The same question is then posed to the bride, who in
turn, replies: I will.
The bridegroom then takes the bride's right hand in
his and says after the officiating officer:
I call upon these persons here present
To witness that I (name)
Do take thee (name)
To be my lawful wedded wife,
To have and to hold
From this day forward,
For better for worse,
For richer for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
Till death us do part,
According to God's holy ordinance;
And this I declare upon my honour
(Salvationists add):
As a true soldier of Jesus
Christ.
The couple loose hands and then the bride takes the groom's right hand in hers and makes the same
declaration.
They release hands and the ring is placed on the
book. The bridegroom then puts the ring on the third finger of the bride's left
hand, saying after the officiating officer:
I put this ring upon your finger
As a continual sign that we are married
Under the solemn promises
We have made this day
In the name of the Father,
And of the Son,
And of the Holy Spirit.
The officiating officer joins their right hands,
holding them together by his own hand and says:
In the name of God, I declare you to be husband and
wife.
Whom God hath joined together, let no man put
asunder.
The officiating officer shall then offer prayers for
the couple and their new lives together, and the ceremony itself ends with
words such as:
God bless you both!
God bless your family and friends!
The officer may then give appropriate words of
guidance before the service is concluded with a congregational song and a
benediction. The signing of the register can take place at a suitable point
before or after the benediction.
Introduction
The word 'Sikh' originates from the Sanskrit word
shishya, meaning a disciple and seeker of the truth. Sikhs believe in the
existence of only one God, and in the teachings of the 10 Gurus (religious
leaders or teachers), embodied in the Sikh Holy Scripture, Sri Guru Granth
Sahib. Sikhism teaches the universal ideals of honesty, compassion, humility,
piety, social commitment and tolerance for other religions.
The Gurus taught the basic values of freedom,
brotherhood, charity, obedience, understanding, sympathy, patience, simplicity,
and piety and outlined the path to spirituality in life. They considered
themselves to be simply servants and said that they were human and were not to
be worshipped as Gods.