We've got all you need to guide each individual through all she or he has to say, and inspiration for more. We've also got a round up of the best ways to make your speech interactive!

Salon Beauty Treatments

Every bride wants to float down the aisle looking a million dollars. The good news is that it doesn't cost that much to ensure that you look your very best on your wedding day.

The idea of getting away from all of the hassles of a home wedding and marrying abroad can be attractive. This article will help you to decide if this type of wedding is for you, and give hints on the finer details of what to expect from a wedding away from home.

Wedding Stationery

From the elegantly simple to the simply extravagant. Find out about the types of stationery available, the ways in which it can be personalised and some ideas on calculating the amount you may require.

Choosing Your Flowers

What would a wedding be without flowers? Check out our in depth article on choosing your wedding flowers for all the advice and ideas you'll ever need.

The A to Z of Flowers

A brief description of all the flowers you may want to include in your wedding.

WeddingGuideUK.com's Editor writes regular features about topical issues from the news and on our discussion forums.

Love Poems, Readings and Quotations

Enjoy our treasured collection of poems, readings and quotations to choose words of love and romance for your own wedding.

Music For Your Wedding

Set the mood for your ceremony, whether it's religious or civil, through our selection of music. Available in MIDI and WAV files.

Marriage Legal Requirements

All you need to know to get married anywhere in the UK from marriage laws and proceedures to visa requirements.

Writing Your Own Vows

If you choose a civil ceremony, you may be able to include your own, personal vows. Read our hints, tips and the legal lowdown.

Your Wedding Cake

Find some ideas for styles of wedding cake, a portion guide, and get some advice on when to cut the cake, and who to give slices to. Guaranteed non-calorific reading!

Creating A Successful Stepfamily

I take thee and our children for my awful wedded family! How to enjoy an extended family and cope with stepchildren issues.

Changing Your Name

An easy guide to changing your name when you get married and a handy list of who you need to inform of your decision.

The Speeches

Who says what, when and how. Everything you need to know for the bride, groom, best man, father of the bride or even bridesmaid.

Reception Seating Arrangements

Who sits where at your reception including alternative seating arrangements for the top table that is helpful for complicated families!

The Wedding List

Should you or shouldn't you? Find out if whether you need to register a list, how to do it and advice on wedding list etiquette.

The Most Important Guests

So who are they? The bridal couple, of course! Here's how to make sure that you enjoy the biggest day of your lives.

Hymns For Your Service

Advice on what to choose for your wedding including a full guide of the most popular hymns complete with MIDI file renditions.

Changing Your Passport

This is one document you can change before your marriage. Here is some useful advice on what to do, where and when.

The Perfect Fake Tan

If you want a sun-kissed look for your wedding day then the safest tan is a fake tan but how can you achieve it?

Using a Wedding Co-ordinator

Save money and avoid the stress of planning a wedding yourself by hiring a specialist. Here's how to make the most of them.

Pre-Pregnancy Planning

Improve your chances of conceiving soon after your marriage by following our advice for a healthy lifestyle, pre-conception.

Relationship Compatibility Test

You already know that you love each other but find out if you're the perfect couple by taking our compatibility test.

Using A Toastmaster

Find out the benefits of booking a professional toastmaster to oversee the smooth running of your wedding reception.

Insuring Your Wedding

Weddings cost money but don't cut corners by not paying insurance. For a relatively cheap sum, you could save your day.

The Receiving Line

The receiving line at your wedding reception is explained together with some alternative suggestions to the traditional line-up.

To Obey or Not to Obey?

Some brides do and some don't. Some Christian churches don't even ask you the question. So will you obey your husband?

Choosing A Videographer

Discover how to capture the most moving moments of your day on video and what to ask for to ensure the best results.

Discussion Forums

Be part of an award winning wedding community in the UK! We now have seventeen discussion forums where you can chat 24 hours a day!

Wedding Ceremonies

Although it is relatively easy to find information about a church wedding in England and Wales it is sometimes more tricky to locate details about all the other faiths and secular ways in which you can tie the knot. Here we take you through some of the more well known religious and civil ceremonies.

Making a Will

Considering making a Will at a time of joy and happiness may seem to many to be somewhat morbid and probably the furthest thing from your mind. However, it is not just something that 'older' people should consider as it is a sad fact of life that tragedy can happen when you least expect it.

Cocktail Capers

Whether you're after a Naked Waiter or a Naked Pretzel, this is the WGUK definitive guide to cocktails including our exclusive WeddingGuideUK champagne cocktail created especially for you. Whether you're planning a hen night or an evening at home, we have the ideal cocktail or mocktail for you.

Don't Panic!

How many times do you hear newly-weds say that they remember little about their wedding day? Months are spent planning every last detail but the day itself seems to pass by in a total whirl. We tell you how to make sure you have wonderful memories and not just a blur.

Your Bridal Attendants

You can have as many or as few attendants at your wedding, each with their own responsibilities. In this article we tell your Chief Bridesmaid/Matron of Honour, the Bridesmaids and Pageboys what their duties are and how they can best help you organise your big day.

The Trading Place

The Trading Place is a FREE service where you can post your For Sale and Wanted notices for personal wedding items.

Featured Weddings

Read about our forum users' real weddings from the traditional to tropical.Share in their big days and be inspired for your own.

Roman Catholic Marriage Service

The second in our series on marriage ceremonies, we focus on the preparations and order of service for Roman Catholic weddings.

Wedding Traditions

Read about the origins behind popular wedding customs and traditions so that you can decide what to include for your own day.

The Wedding Dress Diet

Every woman worries about how she'll look on her wedding day. WeddingGuideUK.com talks to American nutritionist Jacqueline Shannon, co-author of 'The Wedding Dress Diet' about her latest book.

For The Groom

A series of articles for his eyes only - what to do, say, pay for, wear and even what not to do on a stag night!

Wedding Book Search

With over 1.4 million British and US books on offer, ordering couldn't be simpler. Easy ordering online at the touch of a button.

Catering For Your Reception

Once the ceremony is over it is time to eat, drink and be merry! Whatever gastronomic celebration you want, we have the advice.

Taxation and Marriage

Useful information about how your tax status

changes when you get married including details about joint income tax.

Countdown To Your Wedding

There's lots to organise when planning a wedding but don't panic, we can help with our handy checklist of what to do and when!

Inviting Your Guests

The etiquette of inviting guests to your wedding, including guests' partners, children and whether to include a wedding list.

Church of England Marriage Service

The first in a series of religious wedding ceremonies, this article has a full order of service and description of a C of E wedding.

Getting Engaged

We have the etiquette lowdown on everything from popping the question to buying the rings and meeting your future in-laws!

Invitation Wording Examples

For those who need a little extra help on wording the invitations, here is a selection of formal and informal examples to inspire you.

Thank You Letters

Once the gifts arrive it is time to thank your friends and family for their generosity. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

They're all the rage in Hollywood but what exactly are they, are they legal in the UK and what does the future hold?

Budgeting For Your Wedding

How to make the most out of your money through careful budgeting and a breakdown on expected costs for an 'average' wedding.

Newly Licensed Venues

Whether you're thinking about getting married in a stately home, castle or country house, this handy guide will tell you how.

Dealing With Stress The run up to a wedding can be one of the most stressful times of your life. Our article tells you how to deal with stress and relax.

Skin, Hair and Nail Care

Great looking skin, hair and nails don't happen by accident. Read our tips to help you look your best on your special day.

Choosing Your Photographer

Read our advice and tips on choosing your wedding photographer so you don't make a snap decision that you'll regret later.

Who Pays For What

We explain the traditional responsibilities and offer advice on alternative ways of paying for your wedding.

Wedding Transport

Whatever carriage you want for your marriage, we have helpful hints and advice on how to get to your wedding in style.

Making a speech can be the most nerve-wrecking part of a wedding for everyone - from the Best Man whose previous public speaking experience has been chanting at a football match to the celebrated bride and groom, Chief Bridesmaid who is suddenly asked to make a toast.

We've got all you need to guide each individual through all she or he has to say, and inspiration for more. We've also got a round up of the best ways to make your speech interactive!

Browse Confetti's range of wedding books for tips and advice, available direct from confetti.co.uk.

The wedding book of calm practical suggestions on each page to help you deal with nerves

Speeches features a selection of useful tips on preparing and delivering a memorable wedding speech. With sample speeches and advice for the bride, bride's father, groom and best man

How to write a wedding speech provides foundations for the father of the bride, groom, best man, bride and bridesmaids to create personalised speeches for their special occasions.

Introduction

Few people are practised in the art of public speaking so the thought of getting up in front of a wedding reception and sounding good is pretty intimidating. Don't panic, we have all the advice you need to prepare for making your speech.

Who Speaks and When

Traditionally, the toastmaster or master of ceremonies will introduce the speeches at the end of the meal. The formal order of speakers is:

Father of the Bride or a close family friend

The Groom

The Best Man

But if the bride, chief bridesmaid or guests want to speak then that's great, too!

Another good idea is to have the speeches BEFORE the dinner so that everyone can enjoy their meals without nervously waiting to speak, and you also limit the chance of too much alcohol being drunk by terrified best men.

Step One

Firstly, don't panic. A little careful planning will help you deliver a speech to be proud of.

If you can, visit the reception venue to get an idea of where you will be standing and the size of the room.

You will need to project your voice so practice speaking out loud.

How formal is the wedding? Are you expected to say a few words and then propose a toast or speak for a long time?

Is the reception going to have a theme that you could refer to or even incorporate into your speech?

Are you responsible for presenting gifts to members of the party?

Find out a little about the guests and if there are any subjects you should avoid.

How many guests are there? As a general rule, the more people present, the more formal the speech.

Who Says What

Here is a brief outline of who says what. For more details and for sample speeches, check out the links to individual articles:

Father of the Bride or Friend of the Family

Thanks the guests for coming and sharing in the special day.

Thanks everyone who contributed to the cost of the wedding.

Compliments and praises his daughter and welcomes her new husband into the family.

Toasts the bride and groom.

Bridegroom

Thanks the father of the bride for his toast.

Thanks the guests for attending and for their gifts.

Thanks both sets of parents.

Compliments his bride.

Thanks his best man.

Thanks and toasts the bridesmaids.

Best Man

Thanks the groom for his toast to the bridesmaids.

Comments on the bride and particularly the groom.

Reads any messages from absent friends.

Toasts the bride and groom.

Bride

Thanks the guests for coming.

Thanks her parents and bridesmaids.

Compliments the groom.

Proposes a toast.

Chief Bridesmaid

Thanks the bride

Compliments the ushers

Proposes a toast

Introduction

There are a number of different sections of Buddhism, and the beliefs of each group vary slightly. In general, Buddhists believe in life as a process of change, moving towards greater wisdom, awareness and kindness. The mind is the decisive factor in the changing of the self, and meditation is used to develop the mind to a more positive state.

The main concern to Buddhists is that there is suffering in the world. There is no sense of a creator God in Buddhism. The Buddha (a title, rather than a name, which means one who is awake to reality) was a human being who transformed himself, through enormous effort, to a state of profound Enlightenment.

Buddhists follow Dharma, the teachings of the Buddha where there is suffering, caused by wanting. This suffering can end completely by using the Eightfold Path, which develops good understanding, thought speech, action, work, effort, mindfulness and meditation. Buddhism is an open religion that believes that all people are equal, and welcomes those of any age, gender, nationality or background.

Legal Requirements

A couple can be married in the eyes of the law by having a Buddhist ceremony as long as the person who conducts their ceremony is registered to conduct weddings. If this is not the case, a civil ceremony will also have to be held.

The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in which the couple wish to marry is in a different registration district to where they live, the superintendent registrar needs proof that the building is the couples normal place of worship. If this is not possible, the couple are required to give notice in the registration district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

If there is no building in the couples registration district, they will be permitted to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that has one.

A superintendent registrar may also need to attend the ceremony. If the building in which the couple intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, a civil ceremony must be arranged beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.

Buddhism and divorce

Buddhism holds great store in peace, and not causing harm to any other living thing. Therefore it is held by most Buddhist groups that if every form of reconciliation has failed, the couple should be allowed to peacefully separate rather than cause any more suffering. The couple are asked to take into consideration the position and future of any children, so as not to cause them unnecessary suffering.

Preparations for a Buddhist Wedding

It is traditional in some communities on the morning of their wedding for the bride and groom to visit a monk who has taken a vow of poverty and give him food in return for his blessing.

As in Greek Orthodox culture, the bed has significance and an older couple may sometimes be called on to prepare the bridal bed and decorate it with lucky talismans such as bags of rice, sesame seeds, coins and, in more rural communities, a tomcat. These symbolise fertility and happiness.

Legal Requirements

You do not have to be a regular churchgoer to get married in the Church of England, neither must you have been baptised. The Church welcomes the opportunity for you to make your solemn promises to each other not just in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of God and with God's blessing.

There are four ways of getting married in accordance with the rites of the Church of England:

by publication of banns

by common licence by special licence issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury

by the authority of a superintendent registrar's certificate without licence

Your parish priest or vicar will guide you as to the most suitable method according to your particular circumstances although publication of banns is the traditional and preferred method for most couples. Publication of the banns of marriage means the public announcement by a minister or priest during Divine service that two people wish to marry, and an invitation to anybody who knows just cause or impediment to the union to declare it. Banns are usually read out in the parish church (or churches) on three consecutive Sundays during the three months prior to the marriage.

Marriage of Divorcees - with former partner still alive

Although a minister of the Church of England does have a legal right under civil law to take a marriage service (regardless of whether or not either of the couple is a divorcee) each case will be taken on its merits after discussing the circumstances that led to the separation and divorce. In many cases, parish priests are obliged to conform to their bishop's policy of not allowing divorcees (with their former partner is still alive) to remarry in church. If your priest does not allow your marriage to go ahead, there is no process of appeal.

For further information about the legal requirements for marriages in the Church of England, please read our article Marriages in England and Wales.

Preparing for a Church of England Wedding

The Church of England considers marriage to be a life long commitment, whereby couples carefully prepare for their new life together. It is the custom and practice of the Church of England to offer preparation for marriage for couples who are soon to be married, as well as to be available for support and counseling in the years that follow. Your minister will probably ask that you both attend a meeting to discuss their forthcoming marriage, and to come to an understanding about the way a Christian marriage works. At this meeting you will discuss the type of ceremony and the hymns, readings, poems and music you would like. Some churches offer a list of suitable hymns and organ music from which a selection can be made, other churches require the couple to discuss the choice of music with the organist or choirmaster.

At this meeting you will discuss which of the three available ceremonies you will have. These are:

The 1662 Solemnisation of Matrimony (from the Book of Common Prayer)

The 1966 Solemnisation of Matrimony (Alternative Services, Series 1)

The 2001 Marriage Service (Common Worship: Services and Prayers for The Church of England)

At end of 2000, the Church of England introduced a new set of services. Common Worship: Services and Prayers for the Church of England has replaced The Alternative Service Book 1980, which came to the end of its period of authorisation at the end of December 2000. Common Worship sits alongside The Book of Common Prayer, which is authorized permanently and is completely untouched by the revision process The Book of Common Prayer, which contains the 1662 marriage ceremony, is completely unaffected and couples can still opt for this version if they wish.

The issue of whether the bride promises to obey is a thorny one. Recently Sophie Rhys-Jones promised to obey her husband Prince Edward, but David Beckham did not receive the same promise from Posh Spice Victoria Adams. For more information about the meaning of 'obey' in the Church of England's ceremony, please read our article To Obey or Not To Obey.

The traditional ceremony of the bride being 'given away' to her new husband is now optional in the Common Worship Marriage Service.

If you wish, this can be included Immediately before you exchange vows, the minister may ask:

"Who brings this woman to be married to this man?"

The bride's father (or mother, or another member of her family or a friend representing the family) gives the bride's right hand to the minister who puts it in the bridegroom's right hand.

Alternatively, after the bride and bridegroom have made their declarations, the minister may ask the parents of bride and bridegroom in these or similar words:

"John and Sarah have declared their intention towards each other. As their parents, will you now entrust your son and daughter to one another as they come to be married?"

Both sets of parents respond:

"We will."

Your priest will also discuss other matters with you such as whether you would like Communion to be included in the service, your choir, bell-ringing and floral requirements, and of course, finalise the date of the wedding with you. Your priest will also explain the reading of the banns and what fees need to be paid.

The Wedding Rehearsal

A rehearsal normally happens in the week running up to the wedding. All of the bridal party, including the bride, groom, best man and chief bridesmaid attend the rehearsal, possibly accompanied by the parents of the couple. The minister will run through the service, everyone will be shown where to stand before and during your service, and the rough timings of the service will be finalised. As well as being a practice run for the service, the rehearsal also serves as a meeting time for all of the wedding party, and a chance for members of the party who haven't met to be introduced. Couples often take this opportunity to have a meal or similar gathering together, and celebrate the beginning of the wedding celebrations.

What Happens on the Day

The ushers should be the first to arrive at the church, about forty-five minutes before the ceremony. They should be informed in advance of how to seat the guests as they arrive. The ushers may also have the job of organising where the guests may park their cars, making sure that everyone has an order of service, prayer and hymn books. The front right-hand pew is reserved for the groom and the best man. The groom's close family sit in the second pew behind the groom. The front left-hand pew is reserved for the bride's parents and her attendants. The groom and best man are next to arrive at the church at least 30 minutes before the ceremony. Guests usually arrive at the church fifteen to twenty minutes before the ceremony begins, and are shown to their seats by the ushers. The organist starts playing the prelude music.

The next to arrive at the church are the bridesmaids and the mother of the bride. The bride's mother usually waits with the bridesmaids at the church door until the arrival of the bride. The bride's mother is the last to be shown to her seat by the ushers, before the ceremony begins. Her entrance serves as a cue to the groom that the bride has arrived, at which point the organist begins to play the processional music and the congregation stands. The bridesmaids take their places behind the bride in pairs, usually with the youngest directly behind the bride.

The bride then takes her father's right arm and they process down the aisle together, followed by the bridesmaids, towards the groom who takes a step forward.

Alternatively, The bride may enter the church escorted by a representative of the family, or the bride and groom may enter church together.

Once the bride is next to the groom, the bride's father moves to his left and the bride gives her flowers to her chief bridesmaid or matron of honour. If the bride has no attendants, then her father takes her flowers and either gives them to the bride's mother or places them on the front pew.

Introduction

It is not only couples living north of the border who can enjoy a Church of Scotland wedding ceremony. Since 1st January 1978, believers of other faiths can now be married in the Church of Scotland as long as they believe in monogamy and the vows that they are to take. Religious ceremonies may be conducted at any time and in any place in Scotland including Scottish churches.

Legal Requirements

Unlike the Church of England, banns are not published and there are no residency requirements, although notice has to be given to a registrar no later than 15 days before the wedding date. If everything is in order then the District Registrar will issue a Marriage Schedule not more than seven days before the date of the ceremony. This must be given to the minister officiating at the marriage ceremony before the service begins.

The Church of Scotland is generally happy to marry divorced couples although you will be asked to clarify the circumstances of your divorce and your minister will want to be sure that your new marriage will not be detrimental to you or any children involved. The minister has the right to refuse to marry a couple.

For more information, see the Scottish section of our Marriage Legal Requirements article.

Preparing for a Church of Scotland Wedding

The Church of Scotland believes that marriage should be a lifelong commitment so your minister may wish to see you beforehand to help you to understand the nature of the decision you are making and discuss the order of service.

On the day, your ushers should be the first to arrive at the church, about 45 minutes before the ceremony, and be primed about where guests will sit. The front right hand pew is reserved for the groom and best man and his close family sit in the second pew behind him. The front left-hand pew is reserved for your parents and bridal attendants. Split up their duties so that someone can supervise parking arrangements, hand out buttonholes, order of service sheets and prayer and hymn-books.

Your groom and best man should arrive at the church at least 30 minutes before the ceremony begins so that they can greet guests as they arrive. Your guests will arrive at the church 15 to 20 minutes before the ceremony begins and are shown to their seats by the ushers.

The next to arrive at the church are your bridesmaids and your mother who usually wait until you arrive. The chief usher will then escort your mother to her seat, which is the cue to the organist and guests that you have arrived.

Marriage in England and Wales

Either scroll down the page to read the complete article or click on

any of the hyperlinks below to go direct to the section you are interested in.

CIVIL MARRIAGES

Getting Married by Civil Ceremony

Civil Marriages at Licensed Venues (approved premises)

Statutory Declaratory and Contracting Words

RELIGIOUS MARRIAGES

Church of England and Church in Wales Marriages

Roman Catholic Marriages

Jewish Marriages

Nonconformist Church Marriages

Quaker Marriages

Muslim, Hindu and Sikh marriages

APPLICABLE TO CIVIL AND RELIGIOUS MARRIAGES

Documents to be Produced

This article should be read in conjunction with our articles on minimum age and parental consent and prohibited marriages. You may also find our article on second marriages helpful.

Marriages can only take place in authorised premises where the marriage can be legally solemnised. Venues include register offices, premises that have been approved by the local authority (for example, stately homes, castles and hotels), churches or chapels of the Church of England and Church in Wales, and other churches that have been registered by the registrar general for marriage including naval, air force and military chapels. The marriage of house-bound and detained persons can also be arranged by obtaining a special licence from the registrar general.

All marriage ceremonies must take place in the presence of a superintendent registrar or an authorised person (for example, an authorised vicar or priest) and be witnessed by at least two competent people, who will be required to sign the marriage register. With the exception of Jewish and Quaker ceremonies and ceremonies authorised by a registrar general's licence, the marriage must take place between 8am and 6pm.

Getting Married by Civil Ceremony

If you wish to marry by civil ceremony in a register office or other building approved for civil marriage, you should first contact the superintendent registrar of the district where you wish to marry and discuss any arrangements that need to be made. You can get married at any register office or approved venue of your choice in England and Wales without having to set up residence in that district. The term used for the commencement of civil marriage proceedings is called 'giving notice'.

Both of you must have lived in a registration district in England or Wales for at least seven days immediately before giving notice at the register office. If you both live in the same district, you should both attend your local register office together to give your notices of marriage. If you live in different registration districts then each of you will need to give notice separately in your respective district. After giving notice you must wait a further sixteen days before the marriage can take place, (for example, if notice is given on 1 July the marriage may take place on or after 17 July).

Your marriage cannot go ahead unless the legal formalities have been completed.

Notices of marriage must be given in person to the superintendent registrar by you and your partner. No one else can do so on your behalf.

Where an advance booking for a marriage has been made, it is essential that a formal notice is given to the superintendent registrar, once you are legally able to do so.

Registration Officers have a statutory duty to report any marriage they suspect has been arranged for the sole purpose of evading statutory immigration controls.

There are nationally set fees for giving notice to the superintendent registrar and the registrar's attendance at the marriage at a register office or religious building. However, the fee for the attendance of the superintendent registrar and registrar at a marriage in an approved premises (for example, at a hotel) is set by the local authority. The superintendent registrar of the district where you wish to marry will be able to provide you with details of the fees payable.

On the day of the wedding you will need to bring with you at least two other people who are prepared to witness the marriage and sign the marriage register.

If you wish to know more about marriage ceremonies at register offices or at approved premises please ask the superintendent registrar for details. While a marriage ceremony in the presence of a superintendent registrar cannot, by law, contain any religious aspects, it may be possible, with agreement, to include non-religious music and/or readings and for the wedding to be videoed.

This information is issued for general guidance and is not a complete statement of the law. For further information on any aspect of the formalities to, or the ceremony of marriage, please seek the advice of the superintendent registrar at the local register office. The telephone number and address can be found in your local telephone directory under 'Registration of Births, Deaths and Marriages'.

How far in advance can I make my booking?

A notice of marriage is valid for twelve months. However, you may be able to make an advance (provisional) booking with the superintendent registrar of the district where you wish to marry. The superintendent registrar will be able to give you more precise information on this.

Although you can get married on any day of the week between 8am and 6pm, most register offices are only open from 10am-4pm Monday to Friday and 10am-1pm on Saturdays. If you wish to get married outside register office hours (but within the permitted hours), you will have to arrange your ceremony to take place at a licensed venue (an approved premise). Please read the next main section below on civil marriages at licensed venues or visit our main article on licensed venues.

Giving Notice at a Register Office

Each party to the marriage will need to attend at the register office in person and give notice of their intention to marry. This will be the case even when you live in the same registration district. You will not have to attend together but will be encouraged to do so. To arrange to meet with a superintendent registrar, you should telephone or write for an appointment. You may be asked to produce documents as evidence of name and age, usually in the form of passports, birth certificates, ID cards etc. This list is not exhaustive and other documents may also be acceptable. If you have been previously married, you will be required to provide evidence of the termination of that marriage by either death, divorce, or nullity.

Collecting your Certificate of Authority to Get Married

If you are not getting married at the register office where you gave notice, you will need to collect your Certificate of Authority to get married so that it can be given to the person solemnising your marriage. The registrar will prefer that you personally collect your certificate. However, the registrar will post it to you, or send it to the venue where you are getting married, if you make a written request.

Further Information

For further information or clarification on legal civil marriage issues in England and Wales, please telephone the marriages section of the registrar general for England and Wales on 01704-569824. Alternatively, you can write to them at Smedley Hydro, Trafalgar Road, Southport, PR8 2HH, England.

For the details of your nearest register office use the search facility on the General Register Office website or look under 'Registration of Births, Deaths and Marriages' in your Phone Book.

Civil Marriages at Licensed Venues (approved premises)

Since April 1995, it has been possible to arrange for civil ceremonies to take place at certain venues other than a register office. These other venues are officially known as approved premises but are more commonly known as licensed venues. Buildings such as hotels, castles, stately and country homes can now be licensed to allow civil marriage ceremonies to take place on their premises.

The marriage ceremony at a licensed venue is a civil ceremony. No religious content whatsoever is allowed. However, your ceremony can be more romantic and leisurely than in a register office and it can be as formal or casual as you wish. With the permission of the attending registrar, it is possible to enhance the standard civil ceremony by having your own choice of non-religious music, poetry and prose readings and for your ceremony to be photographed or videoed. It is also possible to have your own choice of vows and promises that have a special meaning to both of you, although these will be in addition to the statuatory declaratory and contracting words that are required to be said by both of you for your marriage to be legal.

The legal requirements for getting married at a Licensed Venue are the same as those for getting married by civil ceremony at a register office but with the added requirement of having to arrange for a registrar's attendance at your venue. Please note, you do not need to give formal notice of your marriage to the superintendent registrar of the registration district in which the approved premise is situated (unless you live in that registration district). However, after making a provisional booking of your chosen venue, you should immediately contact the local superintendent registrar since his attendance is required for the solemnisation of your marriage. Once you have booked the superintendent registrar, you can then confirm your booking at you chosen venue.

L licensed venues can take advantage of the full period of time allowed for marriages to be solemnised. That is, on any day between 8am and 6pm (including Sundays, Public and Bank holidays). This is of course subject to arranging for the local superintendent registrar and assistant registrar to be present.

For additional information about getting married at an approved premise and for details of obtaining a full list of all the approved premises in England and Wales, please read our main article Licensed Venues.

Statutory Declaratory and Contracting Words

All civil marriage ceremonies and religious ceremonies other than Church of England, Jewish or Quaker, must incorporate statutory declaratory and contracting statements, to be said by both of you, for your marriage to be lawful. The registrar will usually suggest that the following traditional statements are used:

Declaratory Words

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful

impediment why I, [your full name], may not be

joined in matrimony to [your partner's full name].

Contracting Words

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I,

[your full name], do take thee, [your partner's full name],

to be my lawful wedded wife [or husband].

However, since February 1997, you may choose to use either of the following alternative declaratory and contracting words:

Alternative Declaratory Words

I declare that I know of no legal reason

why I, [your full name], may not be joined

in marriage to [your partner's full name].

by replying 'I am' to the question

'Are you, [your full name], free lawfully

to marry [your partner's full name]'.

Alternative Contracting Words

I, [your full name], take you, [your partner's full name],

to be my wedded wife [or husband].

I, [your full name], take thee, [your partner's full name],

to be my wedded wife [or husband].

When giving notice of your marriage, you will be able to discuss your choice of declaratory and contracting words with the superintendent registrar or your religious celebrant. Generally, if you do not mention this matter, the traditional statements will be used.

Church of England and Church of Wales Marriages

Marriages in the Church of England and Church of Wales are governed by the Marriage Act, 1949. If you wish to be married in either Church, you should first arrange to see your parish priest to discuss your marriage.

As the established church, the Church of England gives all British citizens, with no former partner still living, the right to get married in the parish church where they are resident or in the church where either of the couple are on the church's electoral roll (not the local register of electors) - see below.

You do not have to be a regular churchgoer to get married in the Church of England or Church in Wales, neither must you have been baptised. Both Churches welcome the opportunity for you to make your solemn promises to each other not just in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of God and with God's blessing. There are four ways of getting married in accordance with the rites of the Church of England:

by publication of banns

by common licence

by special licence issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury

by the authority of a superintendent registrar's certificate without licence

You will be guided by your parish priest as to the most suitable method for you to follow according to your particular circumstances. If you are British subjects living overseas, you should ask your parents or a friend to see the priest of the parish in which you lived on your behalf.

1. Publication of Banns

Publication of banns, which simply means announcing aloud your intended marriage, is the traditional and preferred method used by most couples and is equivalent in timing to the civil method of getting married by certificate. The banns are published by being read aloud during the service on three successive Sundays preceding the ceremony. The congregation is invited to register objections, if they have any. It is usual for the couple to be in attendance on at least one of the three occasions when the banns are published.

If the couple live in different parishes, the banns need to be published in both parishes. A certificate stating that the banns have been published will be issued by the church that will not be holding the ceremony. This certificate needs to be produced to the officiating minister before the ceremony can proceed. If the marriage does not go ahead within three months of the banns being published, the banns will have to be published again.

2. Marriage by Common Licence

Getting married by common licence is intended for persons who are temporarily resident in a particular parish and is equivalent in timing to the civil method of getting married by certificate and licence. It has the advantage of not requiring banns to be published. Once your application has been approved by the bishop of the diocese in which you wish to marry (or by one of his surrogates), only one clear day's notice is required before your ceremony can take place. The only residence requirement is that at least one of you must have lived in the parish during the 15 days leading up to your application for the licence. To be married by common licence, at least one of you must have been baptised. A common licence lasts for three months from its date of issue.

There must be a good reason for requesting a common licence, for example, an imminent and unavoidable departure overseas that prevent your banns from being read. A common licence is usually applied for by British couples who are no longer resident in England or Wales or if one or both of the couple are not British subjects. If you are living overseas and you will not be visiting your home parish before you plan to get married, you should ask your parents or a friend to see your minister on your behalf for advice on how and where the licence may be obtained. If neither of you are British subjects, you should contact the registrar of the Court Faculties on 020-7222 5381 for further guidance. Their address is, 1 The Sanctuary, London, SW1P 3JT.

3. Marriage by Archbishop of Canterbury's Special Licence

Marriage by special licence is very unusual and it must be approved by the Archbishop of Canterbury. The licence is issued from the registrar of the Court Faculties in London. If granted, a special licence allows a marriage to take place at any time within three months and in any place without any residence requirement. Typical reasons for getting marriage by special licence are when you want to get married in a parish where neither of you live or if one of you is very ill in hospital and cannot be removed to a venue where marriages can be legally solemnised. To be married by special licence, at least one of you must have been baptised.

In certain circumstances, a special licence may also be issued to couples living overseas, particularly if one of both of you had close links with the church in which you intend to marry. The benefit of getting married by special licence is that there is no residency requirement. However, the issue of a special licence is at the discretion of the Archbishop of Canterbury and it may well be that you will be advised to get married by common licence where at least one of you must meet the residency requirement of 15 days. A special licence will be refused if neither of the couple is able to demonstrate a genuine and long standing connection with the church in question.

A special licence is also required if you want to get married in a building not licensed for marriage. Interestingly, when a member of the Royal Family gets married in St. Paul's Cathedral, a special licence is required since St. Paul's is not registered for marriages.

For further information on getting married by special licence, you should contact the registrar of the Court Faculties on 020-7222 5381. Their address is, 1 The Sanctuary, London, SW1P 3JT, United Kingdom.

4. Marriage by Superintendent Registrar's Certificate without Licence

The final method of getting married in accordance to the rites of the Church of England, is by the authority of a superintendent registrar's certificate without licence. However, this method is for the marriage of qualifying relatives-in-law (see prohibited marriages for further information). If this method is approved, the church where your marriage is to take place must be located in the same registration district as the register office that issues the certificate. Furthermore, one of you must have lived in the parish for seven days prior to giving notice. Twenty-one clear days after giving notice, a certificate of authority to get married will be issued. The marriage must take place within 12 months from the date your notice was entered in the notice book.

Marrying at a Church Which is Not Your Local Parish Church

You can marry at a church which is not your local parish church only if it is your usual place of worship and you are listed on the church's electoral role. To qualify for enrolment, at least one of you must have regularly attended that church for worship for a minimum period of six months. It is also a requirement for enrolment that the person is a baptised member of the Church of England. The church electoral roll should not be confused with the local register of electors.

Marriage of Divorcees - with former partner still alive

Although a minister of the Church of England does have a legal right under civil law (by virtue of his role as a registrar) to take a marriage service, regardless of whether or not either of the couple is a divorcee, each case will be taken on its merits after discussing the circumstances that led to the separation and divorce. In many cases, parish priests are obliged to conform to their bishop's policy of not allowing divorcees (with their former partner is still alive) to remarry in church.

If your parish priest refuses to marry you, there is no process of appeal. Priests are also within their rights to refuse to allow their church to be used for this purpose by another 'sympathetic' priest. Furthermore, it is not possible for divorcees to search for another church where there may be a priest prepared to take the service.

Weddings on a Sunday

There is no legal reason why you cannot get married on a Sunday in a church. However, it is usually not possible because the minister's day is too full with Divine service.

Weddings During Lent or Advent

It is common practice for ministers to refuse marriages during Lent, and often during Advent. Lent is the period of time leading up to Easter Sunday and is traditionally the time when Christians abstain or take up something that spiritually or phyically cleanses the mind or body. Advent is the 24 day period leading up to Christmas day.

Further Information

For further information and advice about getting married in a church of the Church of England or Church in Wales, you should arrange to see your minister. Alternatively, you can telephone the Enquiry Centre of the General Synod of the Church of England on 020-7898 1000. Their address is Church House, Great Smith Street, London, SW1P 3NZ.

For information on second marriages in the Church of England or Church in Wales, please read our article second marriages.

Roman Catholic Marriages

If both of you are Roman Catholic, the publication of banns goes ahead as normal but they do not form part of the legal preliminaries. If only one partner is Roman Catholic, banns are not published and the priest of the Roman Catholic partner will have to give permission for the marriage to take place either in a Roman Catholic church or a non-Roman Catholic church.

The legal requirements to be fulfilled for a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the church is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the church is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the church is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

For further information you should talk to your priest. Alternatively, you can contact the following Catholic Church organisations:

For general advice about preparing for a Roman Catholic marriage, contact: Marriage Care,

1 Blythe Mews,

Blythe Road,

London,

W14 0NW.

Tel: 020-7371 1341

For other help and information, contact: The Catholic Enquiry Office,

The Chase Centre,

114 West Heath Road,

London,

NW3 7TX.

Tel: 020-8458 3316

Fax: 020-8905 5780

For advice when the partners are practising members of different churches, contact: Association of Interchurch Families,

35-41 Lower Marsh,

London,

SE1 7RL.

Tel: 020-7620 4444

Fax: 020-7928 0010

Jewish Marriages

Civil law allows Jewish weddings to take place anywhere, for example, in a synagogue, private house, hired venue or even outdoors. Rabbinical law requires that a Jewish ceremony is performed under a chuppah (a wedding canopy). Jewish ceremonies can also take place at any time except on the Sabbath (Saturday) and on festival or fast days.

The legal requirements to be fulfilled for a Jewish wedding ceremony are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the synagogue is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the synagogue is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the synagogue is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

If there is no synagogue in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a synagogue in the nearest registration district that has one (subject also to the approval of the synagogue secretary).

If the secretary of the synagogue is not licensed to keep a marriage register, a superintendent registrar will need to attend the ceremony. Arrangements should be made well in advance if this is the case. An addition sum will also be payable for the registrar's attendance. For further information and advice please telephone the Jewish Marriage Council at 23 Ravenhurst Avenue, London, NW4 4EE. Tel: 020-8203 6311, Fax: 020-8203 8727.

Nonconformist Church Marriages

Marriages in Protestant Churches other than the Church of England, follow similar procedures to marriages in the Roman Catholic Church. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the church is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the church is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the church is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

If there is no church of your denomination in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a church in the nearest registration district that has one.

A superintendent registrar will need to attend the ceremony if the minister is not authorised to register marriages. If the church in which you intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange for a civil ceremony beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.

Quaker Marriages

Quaker marriages require an application to be made to the registering officer at the Society of Friends' monthly meeting where the marriage ceremony is to take place. If only one partner is a member of the Society, the other will be asked to state that they are in sympathy with the nature of the marriage and they must provide letters of recommendation from two other members. Once the formalities have been completed, the registering officer will issue a form that needs to be taken to the superintendent registrar when you give notice.

The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in which you wish to marry is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the building is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.If there is no building in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that has one.Once you have obtained your certificate of marriage from the superintendent registrar, you will need to produce it on the day of the marriage ceremony.For further information and advice please contact the Religious Society of Friends at 173-177 Euston Road, London, NW1 2BJ. Tel: 020-7663 1000.

Muslim, Hindu and Sikh Marriages

UK marriage laws allow for mosques and temples to be registered for the solemnisation of marriages according to the rites of these religions. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the building in which you wish to marry is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that the building is your normal place of worship. If you cannot do this, you will be required to give notice in the registration district in which the building is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

If there is no building in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a building in the nearest registration district that has one.

A superintendent registrar may also need to attend the ceremony. If the building in which you intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange a civil ceremony beforehand to comply with the requirements of the law.

Documents to be Produced

When you attend before a superintendent registrar or a church minister to make the formal arrangements for your marriage, you may need to produce certain documents, for example, proof of identity such as your passport or birth certificate. If you have been married before, a decree absolute of divorce or if you are a widow or widower, the death certificate of your former spouse. If one of you is under 18 years of age, the written consent of your parents or guardian will be required. If you are marrying a step-relative or an in-law, you will need to provide relevant death certificates and/or other documents requested by the superintendent registrar or minister. Should any of the above documents be in a foreign language, you will need to provide a certified translation in English. If you are unable to provide any of the required documents, the superintendent registrar or church minister will advise you what other documents are acceptable.

If you are not a UK citizen, you will also need to produce your passport. Documentary evidence, such as your travel documents, may also be required to demonstrate that you have met the necessary residency requirement.

Please also note that if you were previously married and your divorce was in a court outside the UK, you will not be allowed to get married in England or Wales until the superintentent registrar has verified your divorce. This process can take up to six weeks.

The above information was correct at the time of updating. Please check with your registrars office or relevant authorities for current information.I

f you still have any unanswered questions about the legal requirements of getting married in England and Wales, please post your message on our Wedding Forum.

Introduction

The Greek Orthodox Church believes it has preserved the historic Christian faith as originally taught by the Apostles, hence a certain air of antiquity surrounds the language and structure of all religious ceremonies. Unlike the Roman Catholic Church, who centres much of its devotion on the Virgin Mary, Greek Orthodox faith centres around God and the fact that He revealed Himself to the world through his son, Jesus Christ

Legal Requirements

The legal requirements to be fulfilled for a Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony are those that apply to civil marriages. Most Greek Orthodox Church buildings in England and Wales are registered to perform wedding ceremonies in the same way as licenced venues. Usually your minister or a parishioner is authorised to perform the service, but where he is not, the registrar will attend. If your church is not registered you will need to have a civil ceremony at the register office first to conform to the legal requirements. Religious marriages held in Greece or Cyprus are, however, legally valid without a civil ceremony.

Divorce

The Greek Orthodox Church does not forbid divorce, but as with most religions, it is frowned upon. When one or both of you are divorced and wish to remarry within the Church, you must obtain an ecclesiastical divorce in addition to a civil divorce. Application for an ecclesiastical divorce are made to the Archdiocese of Thyateria and Great Britain, Thyateria House, 5 Craven Hill London, W2 3EN.

The Greek Orthodox Church will not allow more than a total of three religious marriages, and this is only permitted in extreme circumstances. However, civil marriages are not recognised by the Greek Orthodox Church so even if you have been married many times before at a Register Office these will not be considered if you choose to marry in Church.

Religious Requirements

You must first obtain a civil marriage licence from the register office.

You must then obtain an ecclesiastical marriage licence from the diocese.

The Sacrament of marriage must be celebrated by an Orthodox priest according to the liturgical tradition of the Orthodox Church and in a canonical Orthodox Church.

Your priest must receive authorisation for your marriage from his diocesan Bishop.

If one of you is not a member of the Orthodox Church, then you must have been baptised in your own denomination in the name of the Holy Trinity. If neither of you are members of the church or where one of you is not a Trinitarian Christian, the church will not solemnise your wedding.

Your Sponsor (koumbaros/koumbara or best man) must be an Orthodox Christian in good standing with the Church.

Preparing for a Greek Orthodox Wedding

Before you can marry, according to Greek Orthodoxy, you must visit your Priest for counselling three times. The number three is very significant throughout all aspects of the entire wedding because it symbolises the Holy Trinity.

On the Wednesday night before a traditional wedding, their friends and relatives watch the bride's mother and bridesmaids as they bake breads and wedding cakes, tossing coins into a sieve as they sift the flour. Shouts of Kalrizika (good luck) accompany this ritual. While the bride and groom are having their faces smothered in dough by their relatives, a young girl hides a wedding ring and coins in the rest of the dough. Partying continues until daybreak - unless you have to go to work the next day!

There are two rituals involving bedding: one sees a baby being rolled onto the marital bed to symbolize fertility and happiness, with more traditional communities actually making a mattress with sweet smelling flowers. The second ritual involves the bride and groom having a quilt thrown over them, which symbolizes fertility and abundance. Some brides choose to carry a lump of sugar in their gloves on their wedding day as this symbolizes a sweet life. For more ideas, see our Ethnic and Cultural Traditions feature.

It is traditional for the groom to present the bride with flowers at the wedding venue.

Introduction

This section covers most aspects of a Hindu wedding, from preparations and traditions to specific details of the wedding ceremonies for nine different branches of Hinduism.

Hindus believe in many gods (devas) but only one Supreme Being. They place their trust in the law of karma by which people merit their fate and where they resolve their conflicts and imperfections through reincarnation. They believe in the sanctity of life and practise ahimsa (non-injury) and practise tolerance towards other religions although they believe that only Hinduism offers salvation. Check out our Glossary if there are any words or phrases you do not understand.

For inspirational ideas and advice for Eastern weddings visit Confetti East.

Legal Requirements

The law allows for Hindu temples to be registered for marriage according to its own rites. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those that apply to civil marriages. If the temple in which you wish to marry is in a different registration district to where you live, you need to prove to the superintendent of that building that you normally worship there or there is no building in your registration district. Failing that, you are required to give notice after having met the residency requirement (speak to the superintendent concerned). A superintendent registrar may also need to attend the ceremony.

If the building in which you intend to marry is not registered for the solemnisation of marriages, you must arrange a civil ceremony beforehand for you to be legally married.

Divorce and Hinduism

Hindus view marriage as a sacrament and this implies that divorce is not permitted. However, there are certain circumstances when it is performed such as cruelty, adultery, venereal disease, desertion for two years, conversion, insanity and similar, irreconcilable problems.

What should a Western Guest Expect?

Hindu weddings are colourful events with pre-wedding ceremonies lasting for weeks although, due to time constraints, the actual ceremony might only last for two to three hours. If you are invited to a Hindu wedding, find out what type of Hindu celebration to expect. There are regional differences, which is reflected in the ceremonies on offer. If you are invited to any of the other celebrations such as the popular mehendi (henna) night where the bride and some of her relatives and friends are painted with traditional mehendi patterns, join in and enjoy yourself.

Whilst you are not expected to know everything, it is a good idea to dress in an inoffensive manner with long dresses or skirts which cover you legs and shirts or a shawl to cover your arms during the wedding ceremony itself. Be prepared and take a scarf or shawl to cover your head and see what the other females are doing. If they cover their heads, do likewise.

The food is likely to be vegetarian, although the rice pudding dish (var), which is traditionally served at Kashmiri weddings, can contain lamb. The feasts are sumptuous so be prepared to eat a lot. Cutlery is not always used so follow tradition and eat off banana leaves with your fingers. Alcohol is generally not served at Hindu weddings and you are introduced to exotic drinks such as mathis (salted buttermilk) instead. In some communities, the bride and groom mingle with their guests during the feast after the wedding but the bride's time is often engaged with post-wedding ceremonies. One of the customs enjoyed by the Punjabi bride is similar to the throwing of the bridal bouquet in western weddings. If you are hit by the kalira (bauble) on the bride's bangles, you are probably the next to marry!

Ask the bride or groom about presents if this is practical or follow the Hindu way and give gifts of cash. It is also a good idea to ask about taking pictures as not all of the ceremonies can be photographed.

Whatever your beliefs, a Hindu wedding is a vibrant, culturally-rich event, so soak up the atmosphere and enjoy your day.

Preparations for a Hindu wedding

To Hindus, marriage is regarded as a sacrament and the Hindu male needs to get married to enter a vital part of his life: grihasti (the householder). It is his socio-religious duty as it fulfils the three aims of a man's life:

Dharma: his duty to his family and society.

Prajana: children. This is where he is expected to have children to benefit his family name, the human race and appease the souls of his dead relatives.

Rati: literally, sensual pleasure where a man seeks sensual intimacy within legitimate bounds.

Wedding traditions vary according to each family and custom but the marriage itself is traditionally arranged by both sets of parents, although you both have the right to refuse the match if you wish. Compatibility is important and your horoscopes are often compared to judge the match. In addition, the time and date of the ceremony are decided by astrological charts.

Your groom's family send you money and jewellery before the wedding.

Dress Code

With regional exceptions, if you wish to be a traditional Hindu bride, you wear a wedding gown or sari in red and white symbolising fertility, wealth and purity. Your hands and feet are be painted by your family with henna (red dye) in the mehendi ceremony, either before or during the wedding ceremony.

Haldi (turmeric paste - a yellow spice) is applied to your groom's body before he bathes and he generally wears a tikka (red dye) on his forehead.

Guests should respect the customs and the women should wear long dresses and both genders should cover their arms to avoid causing any unintended offence.

Introduction

The concept of 'walking up the aisle' with all the pomp and ceremony that surrounds a traditional church wedding can still be very attractive to couples without strong religious connections. A register office wedding can, meanwhile, seem uninspiring and austere and does not allow for any reference to an individual's beliefs and values. Even if you choose a civil wedding at an approved venue, there are strict guidelines as to the time, place and wording. No standard marriage can take place outdoors and there is an official vetting of any alternative wording you may wish to be included in the ceremony. If you feel that these restrictions affect to you perhaps a Humanist wedding is your answer.

What is a Humanist wedding?

Humanists do not believe in God, but simply in 'the good within human beings, in their equality, and in the individual's right to freedom of choice in the main decisions of life'. Consequently, a humanist wedding allows you to have a ceremony that focuses on these values and beliefs while still allowing you to express your individual personalities. It allows you the freedom to make your own personal choices about vows, music, readings, and venue. Humanist weddings can take place anywhere 'safe and dignified' and, unlike civil ceremonies conducted by a registrar, do not require the couple to get a special license. Your wedding ceremony can be held wherever you like, indoors or out, be it in a marquee, by a river or in your own home.

The Humanist ceremony respects virtually all situations; remarriage after divorce weddings between people of different faiths or of no faith, and ceremonies allowing gay couples to declare their love and commitment to one another (these unions are recognised as a civil partnership).

Legal Requirements

In England and Wales, Humanist weddings have no legal status, so if you want to be legally married, then you'll need to have a civil wedding at the register office as well, or to have a registrar present. Under the Marriage Act 1994, many premises are licensed for registration. No religious ceremonies are allowed on the premises, but a non-religious humanist ceremony is permitted after the registrars' ceremony - when the registrars have left the premises. Obviously this then involves two consecutive ceremonies and it can be more cost effective to visit the Register Office as a formality, and select an affordable venue for the separate Humanist ceremony. See our article on legal requirements for a civil ceremony for more information.

There are two exceptions to this rule, both of which involve holding the ceremony in a religious building. The first is a marriage in a Unitarian church, either with the minister conducting a non-religious ceremony, or simply registering the marriage after allowing a humanist to conduct the ceremony. The second is quite rare and really is only available to couples that have strong links with a university where the chaplain is prepared to conduct a non-religious ceremony.

The Humanist Society of Scotland, however, has celebrants who are authorised to conduct legal marriages, making Scotland one of only three countries in the world (including Norway and the USA) where Humanist marriage ceremonies have full legal status.

The ceremony must be conducted by a Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland who has been authorised by the Registrar General for Scotland. Since the first Humanist wedding in the UK in June 2005, demand has grown from just over 40 ceremonies in the same year to nearly 500 ceremonies conducted by the Humanist Society of Scotland in 2006, making it the fifth most popular wedding provider in Scotland. The Society now has thirty fully trained registered celebrants performing weddings throughout the country and many couples travel to Scotland specifically to be legally married in a Humanist ceremony.

For more information on the Humanist Society of Scotland and the range of ceremonies it provides, go to humanism-scotland.org.uk.

Planning a Humanist wedding

Finding a Celebrant

Weddings are usually officiated by a Celebrant who is a member of the British Humanist Association. However, you can choose to conduct the service yourselves or ask a relative or friend to act as celebrant. In these instances the British Humanist Association will happily give help and advice, if required. Whoever the celebrant may be, it is important that they are absolutely clear as to what they are being asked to do. It should also be remembered that a British Humanist celebrant will charge a fee for conducting the ceremony and, if necessary, travelling expenses. It is advisable to discuss this in advance to avoid any misunderstanding. You must decide on the date, time and place for your Humanist ceremony and agree this with the celebrant ensuring that it ties in with your register office ceremony.

Text, readings and music

The British Humanist Association will give help and advice on writing your vows, readings and music if required, but you can completely write your own vows if you want to.

Introduction

Historically, Judaism is the first recognised religion to believe in one God. The word of God is recorded in the Torah, a series of scrolls, which are kept in the synagogue, the place of worship for Jews.

There are four main branches of the modern Jewish religion, Orthodox, Reform and Conservative (or masorti) and a Liberal (progressive) movement, although this term is often used to indicate anything other than Orthodox.

Orthodox Jews follow the teachings of their religion very strictly, and believe that the laws of the Torah and Talmud were passed to man from God through Moses. Many rituals and ceremonies are performed as part of the everyday life of an Orthodox Jew.

The Reform branch believe that the Bible should be important to their lives, but do not practice as many rituals as the Orthodox division. Reform Jews believe that the Talmud was written by people, rather than by God, in a similar way to the Bible.

The Conservative branch believes that their religion should evolve with the changing society.

Rules and ceremonies differ within these groups, for example, some synagogues practice separation of the sexes, and some insist on a head covering for men and a modest form of dress as well as a head covering for women.

It should be remembered that no Jewish weddings can take place on a Saturday.

Legal Requirements

The legal requirements for a Jewish wedding ceremony in England and Wales are the same as those that apply to civil marriages. However, if the synagogue is in a different registration district to where the you live, you need to prove to the superintendent registrar that it is your normal place of worship. If this is not possible, you are required to give notice in the registration district in which the synagogue is situated after having met the necessary residency requirement.

If there is no synagogue in the registration district in which you live, you will be permitted to marry in a synagogue in the nearest registration district that has one. This is subject to the approval of the synagogue's secretary.

If the secretary of the synagogue is not licensed to keep a marriage register then they will notify you to say that a superintendent registrar will need to attend the ceremony and arrangements should be made well in advance. An additional sum will also be payable for the registrar's attendance.

At least three months before the wedding you need to be registered with, or authorised by, the Chief Rabbi's office. Take both sets of parents' Ketubah or banns with you to your appointment. Be prepared for a modern demand - you may be asked to sign a form (a Get) in case of future divorce. This allows a divorced couple to get remarried under the eyes of God. If you live outside London and are unable to get to the Chief Rabbi's office you can do it by post. Be aware that if you live together some Rabbis could refuse to marry you.

For further information and advice call the Jewish Marriage Council at 23 Ravenhurst Avenue, London, NW4 4EE. Tel: 020-8203 6311. Fax: 020-8203 8727.

Marriage of divorcees within the Jewish faith

The Office of the Chief Rabbi offers all couples the opportunity to sign a pre-nuptial agreement called a 'Get' in case of future divorce. This binds them to attend at the Beth Din (Court of the Chief Rabbi) in the event that their marriage runs into serious difficulties. The prime object of this is to explore the possibilities for referral on for mediation or counselling to save their marriage, or to assist in the dissolution of their marriage in accordance with Jewish Law. It is possible for a Jewish couple to divorce, and to remarry in the eyes of the synagogue, providing the Beth Din has sanctioned the actions and that they have followed the recommendations of the court. A civil divorce is not recognised in the eyes of the Jewish religion. These pre-nuptial agreements are optional and are usually offered three to four months before the wedding.

Preparing for a Jewish Wedding

On the Sabbath before the wedding, the bridegroom is called up to the Reading of the Law in Synagogue. This recalls the tradition that King Solomon built a special gate for a bridegroom in the Temple. The inhabitants of Jerusalem would assemble there on the Sabbath and if a bridegroom happened to be there, would publicly congratulate him.

It is customary for the bride and groom not to see each other for at least a day before the wedding, which enhances the significance of their meeting under the Chuppah. It is also traditional that they fast on the day of their wedding until after the ceremony, in repentance of past sins. The fast is from first light (before dawn) until after the wedding service. The basic reason is that the wedding day is like a personal Yom Kippur. You are forgiven your sins so as to have a clean slate - to begin your married life without spiritual baggage.

The bride will also visit the 'mikvah', a ritual bathhouse, where she undergoes a symbolic cleansing ceremony. This practise is Biblical law and not a custom and is still widely practised in Orthodox circles although it is virtually non-existent in Reform and Progressive circles.

Wedding wear

It is customary for you to be dressed in white or ivory on your wedding day as a sign of purity, with a headdress and veil. At strict Orthodox weddings, your dress should have a modest high neckline and long sleeves. The groom often wears morning dress, but Orthodox grooms may wear a long white robe.

Female guests at Orthodox synagogue weddings should cover their shoulders and arms. At Reform and Liberal ceremonies it is more acceptable to wear a strappy or sleeveless gown, but it is polite to cover the shoulders for the ceremony. Traditionally, all women's heads should be covered. The male guests will cover their heads with a 'yarmulke' (a skull cap) for Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies. It is a good idea to provide skullcaps for the non-Jewish male guests who may not have the right head covering.

What Happens On The Day

A Jewish wedding ceremony can take place almost anywhere, indoors or outdoors. It does not have to be in a synagogue or temple as long as it is conducted under a canopy called the Chuppah. This is made of silk or velvet with embroidery and fringes and is supported by four poles decorated with flowers and symbolises a single domain into which the bridegroom invites his bride and represents the matrimonial home that they will establish together. Alternatively, family and friends can hold the Chuppah during the ceremony. A table is placed under the Chuppah, with two glasses and a bottle of kiddush wine placed on it, which you sip after the blessings during the ceremony. No jewellery must be worn under the Chuppah as an indication that you are marrying each other as people and not for monetary gain.

The nature of a Jewish wedding will depend upon the branch of Judaism that you belong to. Individual rabbi and synagogues may also have different interpretations of a wedding ceremony so check with your synagogue first.